Rare Ranting of a Yaoi Fan
by Usagi Youkai
Summary: I don't usually rant and I rarely post random fics with me in it, but I've decided to point out some of Sokka's gay moments, so lets see what branches from there, hinted ZukoSokka and JetSokka. This not to be taken seriously and is discontinued.
1. Season 1

Usagi Youkai peeks into the room, scanning it for any sign of anyone. She sees no one and grins, walking in and shutting the door behind her, a small stack of papers under her arm.

"And the fourth wall is now breached." She says, flopping down in a comfy chair, in front of the reader's computer screen. She's crooked on the screen and she quickly adjusts the lens with both hands, then breaths on it, cleaning it with her long green sleeve; everything straight and clear now. She grins into the screen, having long brown hair in a sloppy clip and greenish blue eyes and freckled skin; not perfectly slim, having an even layer of baby fat. "Hello! Welcome to a very rare, very random fic. I usually don't breach the forth wall, except in author notes," Taps papers on her knees to straighten them, wearing baggy blue pants, "And I know that you don't really give a damn about me or my" -Quote, unquote fingers- "'Special, wonderful, perfect, beautiful author self', because lets face it, none of these authors and Mary Sues are perfect, no matter how conceded they are."

She clears her throat, "Well enough about my hateful side towards Mary Sues," Whispers behind her hand, "Even though they are annoying, jading, self-centered beings; I stand behind my words fully," Out loud again, "I am here to talk about some of Sokka's very gay moments, because there are a lot and I wanted to share them with people," She grins, "It just shows how much of an uke he is, I can never see him as anything but an uke."

Sighs, "But I suppose I should give some proper warnings. I shall be mentioning yaoi, and men in romantic relationships. I will be picking on characters, in a loving way mind you. Well, unless I go on a rampage about how I hate someone..."

A picture of Azula on a bull's-eye board with darts in her head mostly and also around her and in random places where Usagi has missed.

Usagi thinks a minute, "Well... Yeah, lets not talk about the evil bitches. Though I must say I do love the girl power of her team, but I have an obligation to protect Sokka's seme."

Big red blinking arrows point at Zuko, who is currently playing cards with Aang in another room. He waves the arrows away and draws a card from the deck, continuing to play as if the arrows had never been there.

Usagi grins, "Anyway, there will be no real story with this, just some rare, random, not-perfect-ness. Maybe I'll do more of it even if this is done, but I don't know yet, I'm just starting it." She clears her throat. "Ok, Sokka's Gay Moments. They might not all be _gay_, necessarily, but they might be unbearably cute." Flashes a large fan girl grin, then shakes her head, getting a hold of herself, "Sorry, I love this show so much, Nickelodeon has created this beautiful show, I love it so much and I can honestly say, no other show has captured my heart like this one, not even Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh, or even Naruto. That's saying a lot if you know me." ... "I may rant a bit during these, bare with me or leave, your choice."

She clears her throat, picking up the first paper, "Ok, so Sokka, while he is permanently uke in my mind now, was not labeled until episode 4," turns around paper to readers, where 'Warriors of Kyoshi' is panted on with green paint, and a few splotches where she dripped, "Obviously, this is very popular everywhere. Sokka's sexist ways were challenged when a bunch of girls beat him, both in ambush, and in a training gym." Grins, "Hell, he crossed dressed in that episode and I know Suki knew it was a dress. She was just trying to make Sokka feel comfortable in telling him it was a warrior's uniform. I do believe the significances of the gold and what-not are real traditions, but lets face it, it's a dress." Tosses that one away and holds up a picture of Sokka in his dress, "This is Sokka's dress, I think he just wants to look pretty in it. You know, he flew away with it at the end of the episode, I bet he has it stashed somewhere, maybe somewhere in Appa's massive coat." Gently puts that picture aside with care since she loves it so much.

"Aang saw it for what it was and Zuko couldn't tell Sokka from the girls. It's also the second time where Sokka has worn make up," Coughs forcefully, "Sorry," -Quotey fingers- "'Warrior face paint'. This is the first time Sokka gets captured, along with Aang and Katara."

Holds up next paper, which has 'King of Omashu' written in purple paint this time, "It's a very brief moment, but after seeing it the second time after my yaoi instincts pin pointed the moment, Bumi noticed Sokka's gayness right away," Clears throat, "I quote, "How about you, I bet you like meat", and then he promptly shoves a chicken leg into Sokka's mouth. I'm sorry, but HELLO! Bumi knows all!" Throws hands into the air, "Bumi rocks!" Calms down, "I'm sorry, but I love Bumi, I love the mad geniuses. Its also the second time the group gets captured." Tosses paper away.

Pulls out a picture of the spirit panda from episode 'Winter Solstice: part 1' in its fuzzy form eating bamboo, "Not must in episode 7, but Sokka was kidnapped by this guy, and I must say, Sokka plays the part of damsel of distress quite well." Puts down picture, "There's not a lot going on in episode 8 either, though Sokka and Katara get caught for some of the episode. So that makes capture total come to 2 for Aang: 3 for Katara: And 4 for Sokka. This has to be saying something."

She holds up a paper with 'Waterbending scroll' painted in blue, "This is not one of my personal favorites, because it spawned the Zuko/Katara, which makes me gag by just by reading the summaries. I absolutely hate it. They all get captured again, though Sokka almost didn't get captured, that is, until he opened his mouth. You know, one of those pirates, maybe two of them were wearing lips stick, and it was cute when that one slung his arm around Sokka's shoulders and he whimpered..." Grins, "It was cute and I'm not taking it back."

She tosses the last paper and pulls out Jet's name on a piece of paper, painted in red. "While I think Jet is a psychopath with a pinch of insanity and cruelty, I can't say I hate him, not really. Sokka gets captured again in this episode all by his lonesome, and you know, if Jet had had the time and if his men weren't around, he would have so raped Sokka." Crickets chirp at her, "What! I know I should have something against it," She pokes her index fingers together, head down in slight shame, "I like hurting ukes or having them injured or emo so the seme can help."

Clears throat, "Anyway, Sokka really doesn't get a break, and Katara is actually the one who stops Jet. I can't believe she fell for his rogue charm. Sokka was even more focused as uke in Jet's seme shadow, and it showed that Sokka at least has some sense. He was merciful to the old man, so he's not crazy racist like Jet."

She peeks around, giggling, "Sokka turmoil... I love it so much."

"Anyway, there's not much in 'Blue spirit'," holds up a picture of Zuko in his Blue Spirit outfit, "But there was a lot of Zuko, and in 'The Storm' also. Though there was Sokka saying some very fun stuff; like talking to Momo and Appa. Aang does get captured, though he wasn't that uke with it, I mean, he bounds away a lot at puts up a better fight than Sokka."

She holds up a picture of Aunt Wu, "Sokka is picked on a lot on this one. If she had REALLY told Sokka his fortune, I'm sure it would have been with something with Zuko, I'm sure of it. It just had a good amount of Sokka in it that I loved. Struggle and anguish was her first impression of Sokka... that is uke to me."

Presses a picture of Bato to the screen, "Can you tell I got tired of painting those signs? It was Sokka centered, and though it did not make Sokka very uke, it showed his intelligence and Sokka's dad had a close friend," taps fingers together, "Yeah, I can see Sokka's dad and Bato, just because of this episode. And then there was the small Zuko and Sokka interaction; bitter, funny and I'll take what ever I can get. Sokka and Katara get captured in the episode."

She checks her tally board, "So that's Aang 4 captures, Katara 5 and Sokka was kidnapped 7 times. Sokka is still our top damsel in distress."

She holds up a picture of Teo, the boy in the wheel chair, "This episode is just cute because it shows how nerdy Sokka can be, and nerds are on my uke list."

Usagi plays with a picture of Princess Yue, flopping it back and forth, unintrested, "I must say I'm disappointed with the amount of Sokka in the last three episodes, so I was not impressed with them. Princes Yue... It's not just because Sokka loved her, it's really not, but she was so... so..." Picture is tossed carelessly, "So dainty and so dramatic when she didn't have to be. It does give away the fact that Sokka likes royalty though. I will let the belief of Sokka loving her slide, though I think he was only infatuated and they could become friends." Slings legs over the arm of the chair, back against the other arm, out of papers, getting comfy, "And that was season one. Season two, Sokka is even more uke, which almost overloads my yaoi senses at times"

"And Aang was captured too, I almost forgot about that. And Sokka is still our damsel in distress for season one. Now, to review..."

---

Sokka walks into the room where everyone is lounging, off set from the show. He looks around briefly.

"Hey, were did the crazy girl go?" he asks no one un particular. Zuko shrugs, still playing cards with Aang, and has a loosing hand.

"She ran off." He replied and draws more cards from the deck. Aang is air bending his cards in the air, though not showing the cards to Zuko.

"She said something about a camera and... and... What else did she say?" Aang said, not having been fully paying attention. Katara is in the kitchenette, the room they're in being a small apartment.

"She was collecting pictures for something." Katara said absently, mixing a bowl of ingredients. Toph and Iroh are playing Paisho in the corner, Iroh's usual pot of tea beside them.

"She sure was in a hurry." Toph supplied and moved a piece on the board.

"She didn't even stop for tea." Iroh said and shook his head, "Very unlike her."

Sokka held his chin in his hand, pondering, "Crazy avid yaoi fan with a camera, pictures, in a hurry, and not stalking us." He also took in account that she bypassed Iroh's offer on tea, which was not heard of because Usagi is a very avid fan of Iroh and would sit for days on end without moving, hearing his stories and laughing at his jokes... "The only thing that would pull her away from Iroh is..." He stopped, eyes widening, "Crap!" He zips out the door, slamming it behind him. Zuko frowns and get up, putting his cards down, sighing.

"I'll get him," he says, following Sokka out the door, "He's just going to hurt himself..."

Aang peaks under Zuko's cards, pouting, "Aw, I was about to win that hand too..."

---

Usagi is holding up an obscene picture of Sokka and Zuko as stick figures since she can't draw that good, "And this would be them on their honeymoon, and their wedding night, and probably any other night..."

Sokka kicks open the door, making Usagi look up, Sokka pointing at Usagi looking angry, "YOU!"

Usagi laughs uneasily and looks at the camera, an anime sweat drop running down her temple, "Um, I think that's all the time I got. If I survive this you might get more, if I'm feeling random again..." Grabs camera as Sokka starts chasing her.

"How many time have I told you not to tell people that stuff!" Sokka yells, screen being jumbled horribly, circling around the room.

"Sokka! You're too uke for people _not_ to know this stuff! Hell! You're uke with your hair down!"

"That's only in your sick mind!"

Usagi pouts behind the camera, "I like my mind..."

She throws open the door and runs smack into Zuko, then promptly falls on her butt; Zuko is still standing, though surprised. Sokka isn't able to stop in time and he trips over Usagi, slamming into Zuko, knocking them over.

Usagi takes the moment to blink at the scene, then grins, holding up the camera so the readers can see. Sokka has ends up straddling Zuko's waist and both are blinking at each other, confused and Sokka soon enough has very red cheeks. Usagi grins like a maniac, watching through the lens, breaking the golden silence after about a minute.

"Do you two know what is going through my mind right now?" She giggles and Sokka turns to her, eyebrow twitching, glaring at her. Usagi's is suddenly filled with dread and she scrambles out into the hall past them, before they can regain full bodily functions.

"USAGI!"


	2. Season 2, Most of it

Usagi sat in the apartment, sitting next to Iroh by the Paisho table, on one of the several cushions around the room. She had tears running down her cheeks in a dramatic way, a large throbbing bump on her head from Sokka's club.

"You would so be a temperamental uke." She pouted.

"Shut up," Sokka snapped, sitting in an arm chair by the coffee table in the center of the room, "I told you not to mess with the cameras for your gay stuff."

"The public has a right to know." she protested sadly.

"No, they don't," he said huffily. Usagi pouted in a sad, almost pathetic way, then drank some of Iroh's tea which he had offered to her. After a little over a minute her fan girl high dimmed and she thought rationally for a moment.

"I still have the second season to report Sokka's gayness." She reminded everyone.

"And you're not doing it." Sokka said angrily, but Usagi ignored him.

"Who wants to hear it?" She asked with a grin to the room of main characters and Aang bounded forward, onto a cushion by the Paisho table as well, where the game still progressed slowly.

"I do!" he cried happily, throwing his arms in the air.

"Aang!" Sokka whined, "You're suppose to be on _my_ side!"

"Yeah..." Aang said slowly, "But she says some funny things, and they're not entirely wrong." Sokka groaned, running his hand down his face out of exasperated.

"You are the gayest one here." Toph said boldly, sipping Iroh's tea as well. Sokka glared at her, but it really had no effect on her because Toph is blind. Currently she and Iroh were playing with stone pieces on the board.

"I am not!" He yelled.

"Its funny because you're also the only one here who can't bend," she said, ignoring Sokka's anger. Sokka jabbed her finger at Usagi, who sat innocently on her pillow, drinking tea.

"Usagi can't bend either!" He protested and Usagi raised her hand, like a little kid in kindergarten, drawing attention to herself.

"I can gender bend." She said and the majority of the room stared at her, bewildered.

"You can what?" Zuko asked, eyebrow raised, sitting in a chair by the coffee table, across Sokka.

"Gender bend," She repeated again and shrugged, "I'm writing this one story where I turn Sokka into a temporary girl." She sipped the tea and Sokka sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Just don't talk any more." He pleaded in a mumble, though Katara was curious.

"Wait, if you gender bend, wouldn't that be heterosexual romance? I thought you didn't like that." She was sitting in the third and last chair around the table.

"I don't," Usagi said, "If I see het I cringe and gag like a little boy seeing their parents kiss. And I said _temporary_, it makes all the difference who Zuko falls for." She finished off the cup of tea she had and poured her self some more tea while Zuko gave her a flat irritated look.

"Can you just _stop_?" Sokka burst out loud and Usagi blinked at him.

"True, I shouldn't give it away," She said and stood up, "Anyway, on with your gayness Sokka." She went over to Sokka and grabbed his arm, yanking him out of the chair.

"Ah!" Sokka yelped and Usagi pushed him into Zuko's lap, taking Sokka's chair as her own, happy with her nice warm seat and tea. Zuko and Sokka grunted from the impact, and before either could react, like Zuko shoving Sokka off of him of Sokka scrambling away, Usagi spoke quickly. "Zuko! I'll give you 30 bucks to hold Sokka in your lap for the rest of the chapter!" Zuko's arms immediately locked around Sokka's waist while Sokka struggled to break free, but Zuko was much stronger than him.

"Hey! Who's side are you on!" Sokka snapped and Zuko shrugged.

"Why should I turn down 30 free dollars?" he retaliated and Sokka folded his arms, pouting.

"Traitor."

"Sticks and stones, Sokka, sticks and stones."

Usagi grinned at the quarreling couple, "You guys fight so cute." Zuko frowned.

"I'm holding him for 30 bucks, having to endure your squealing will be extra." He warned and Usagi backed off.

"What do you think I am, made of money?" She asked, "That 30 is a lot of bagging at the grocery store for tips only."

"Not my problem." Zuko said and Usagi sighed.

"Fine," she said pouted, digging a torn out and wrinkled note book paper, setting her tea on the coffee table and opening it, "I'll just commence with the second season," Sokka grimaced and shifted in Zuko's lap, knowing this would take a while, figuring he might as well be comfortable. Zuko made a face as Sokka moves, but said nothing, "The second season is where Sokka's animal magnetism kicks in"

"His what?" Katara asked for everyone

"Animal magnetism," Usagi repeated, "Haven't you noticed that just about every animal warms up to him?" Everyone thought about this for a minute, and Sokka hid his face in his hands, unable to believe that she was saying any of this, "Momo and Appa warmed up to him really good during the first season and the second just blew it though the roof. All animals love him. I'll point it out as I go through them. Though that panda did catch Sokka in the Winter Solence one." She put a finger to the paper and went down her list, "It started out with the episode 'the Avatar State' and again Sokka was captured."

"For like, a minute." Sokka protested

"Still a minute of capture," Usagi brushed off his comment, "and Katara was captured too, but for less time," the thought a minute and them made a note on the paper with a pencil from her pocket, "Sokka was captured by two guards, Katara by earth bending..."

"That doesn't mean anything." Sokka grumbled.

"_Also_," Usagi said, "This is the first episode we see Sokka with his hair down, even if it is only for a second, and it was dark in the room. Honestly I didn't think you'd be that uke with your hair down, but you were." Sokka just looked very unamused by the comment, frowning deeply and his one eye twitched involuntarily. Zuko snickered.

"Shut up!" Sokka snapped at Zuko behind him, "you had a ponytail in the first season so don't you dare laugh at my hair!" Zuko remained calm.

"I cut my hair at the end of that episode and grew it out." He said smugly.

"Which made him even more seme." Usagi grinned and Sokka glared angrily at Usagi, making her clear her throat loudly. "Um... Did I mention that you were very horse-ostrich friendly in that episode? I mean, after the first moment, it obeyed you like any other earth bending soldier. That was so your animal magnetism," She glanced down at the paper, "I think that was it..." She grinned widely at the next note on her list, "And then there was the second episode of season two..." Sokka pointed accusingly at Usagi, ticked off.

"What is with you and that episode!" he yelled.

"Its my absolute favorite of the whole series!" Usagi grinned her fangirl smile, "Chong was like a high hippy and I adored him! Sokka, you were _shirtless_, and _pant-less_ and you just showed off your uke body!", she took a deep breath," Chong commented on your underwear, you had your hair down for the second time, you were a grumpy uke, Chung sung you a song, you were the one cornered by the badger moles," she whispered quickly, "More of your animal magnetism," now back on her roll, "Appa's hair was braided, you played guitar, which was adorable as hell, you blushed, and Chong, gave, you, a _hug_!" She took a deep breath, then exclaimed, voice high pitched in her excitement, "_That was the best part_!" Sokka gave her a flat look.

"You're insane." He stated and Usagi smiled, faking sheepishness.

"So I've been told," she said and smiled regularly, "do you think Chong would sing a song if I gave one to him?"

"No." Sokka said in the same flat tone.

"You know, Chong would so be bi..."

"Just get on with it!" Sokka snapped

"Fine! Fine, Mr. Can't-take-a-hug wants the third episode," Usagi sighed, "I still love episode two... oh well, I'll talk to Chong later, I know the perfect song. Anyways... Episode three is when they come to Omashu," she thought a moment, then imitated Sokka, "O, ma, shu..." she noted Sokka still gave her the flat look and knew she was not entertaining him, "Fine, fine," she sighs and gets somewhat serious, "Your animal magnetism for that episode was the purple-penta-puss..." she wondered if she should comment, then decided she would, with a grin, "Tentacles..." She promptly had to duck a book Sokka had been able to reach.

"Don't you dare start with that!" Sokka snapped, and Usagi stood behind the chair, ready to duck if need be.

"I have a sick demented mind and you know how I am!" she yelled in her poorly formulated defense, "Its not my fault things like to stick to you! And damn it! You're so uke!" She ducked when Sokka threatened her with another book. Zuko picked the book out of Sokka's hand and tossed it out of the way, making Sokka glare at him. Usagi sighed once no other object was thrown at her, happy she still had the knack to get under Sokka's skin. She flopped back into the chair, sitting sideways on it, getting comfy, "And it was really cute how you called them suckers," she commented quickly, "In a cute way! In a cute way!" Sokka grumpily settled down and she sighed in relief, "You're maternal instincts came out you know, with Tom Tom, it was really cute. It was just that little scene that proved that you could be a good mommy, even with a Fire Nation baby!"

"Katara made me!" Sokka protested, pointing accusingly at Katara, who have him a serious look.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to fall on your back when you fell," Katara replied, "and you didn't have to tolerate him as long as you did." Sokka scratched his head a tad sheepishly.

"Well I couldn't hurt a _baby_." He said.

"Maternal instincts..." Usagi basically sang and received Sokka's glare, "How many times are you going to give me that look?"

"How many times are you going to make me want to smack you?" Sokka asked back and Usagi scratched her head with a nervous laugh.

"A lot..." she replied and looked back at her paper, "I did love Bumi in that episode, hell, you know I love Bumi period. And I still don't like Azula, the bitch." She huffed and moved on, grinning once again.

"Oh no..." Sokka covered his eyes, knowing what was coming.

"The swamp," she announced, "Does, 'Why do things keep attaching to me' ring any bells? I have to rack up the capturing points..." She quickly tallied a few on her paper, "Aang: 5, Katara: 6, Sokka: 8, and Sokka is clearly the damsel in distress in this episode. The vines could have gone after Katara, but did they? Noooo, they went after Sokka first!" She counted the tallies, "Sokka was entangled before the commercial came on, so I'm not completely sure how to count that one, but there were so many times. Though in the end Aang's number was brought up to 6, Katara to 8 and Sokka to an astounding 11 and a ½."

"What do you mean ½!" Sokka exclaimed.

"You were captured the longest by the vine guy," Usagi explained as if it was the most obvious thin in the world, "_Duh_. He didn't even TRY to catch Aang and Katara, he just slapped them away! Multiple times I must add! He only caught Katara at the end, once, and all three were caught at the one time!" She raised an eyebrow at Sokka, "I think he liked you Sokka." Sokka shuttered in disgust.

"Don't even go there." He warned.

"I'm not," she said, shivering, "Zuko/Sokka fan only, you know, I'm just stating it. Oh, and I was so glad you came back as Blue Spirit, Zuko," Usagi grins and Zuko shrugs, "And Iroh, I loved your Ba Sing Se song." Iroh nodded, smiling.

"Ok... then there's Avatar Day..." Usagi sighs, frowning, "I was not too impressed with this episode, but there were surprisingly a lot of good moments, even if they weren't all with Sokka. Aang was captured, and Sokka's Sherlock homes like getup. The getup and act were adorable, loved the bubble pipe. Randomness lives on!" She smiles, "Though the real prize was in the beginning where Sokka has this quote, 'A torch, that's a nice prop. Bright, dangerous,' You sniffed 'smells manly, but I'm not sure I could carry it off.'" She looked at Sokka with a knowing look, "You can't carry it off, eh?"

"I didn't mean it in any way that you're thinking!" Sokka exclaimed immediately.

"I don't know what else it could mean," Usagi says, shrugging, "You think fire is dangerous and manly and you can't pull off manly." Sokka folded his arms grumpily, face red.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." He grumbles.

"I really don't Sokka, I wish I did so I could twist it more. You were smelling around for a seme!" Sokka covers his eyes with his hand.

"I hate you." He mumbled.

"Love you too Sokka." Usagi replied, looking down at her paper, frowning, "Oh no, I forgot the gay moments of the other guys in the Avatar series." She smiled fondly, "Like the two massage therapists that appeared in the first episode of season one. The criminals in jail in episode five reminded me." Waves hands around excitedly, "I swear the massagers did the gay gasp when Azula told the crowd that Zuko and Iroh were wanted! It was so there! And of course, the tough and possibly murderous criminals back into episode five, that was just _it_. My gaydar was blinking out of control when the tough guy sniffled! They were giving Aang a pep talk about Katara, man!" Usagi realized that they are all staring at her, even Toph. She calms down, "Ok, ok, I have to back off of Kathy Griffin, I know." She took a deep breath, "And Aang also has the ever loved 'Foam at the mouth guy'. 'Foam at the mouth guy' was so awesome and an Aang fanboy." She smiles fondly again, "Theeeen Aang gets dressed in a dress, but at least he has an excuse. It was to bring out Kyoshi, but still, he was so _cute_." Aang blushed and scratches his head, smiling.

"Then why don't you do an Aang gay moment session?" Sokka asked in an exasperated tone.

"Because, duh," Usagi retaliated, "He's 12, he's too cute to be gay right now. He spins marbles and wiggles his eyebrows. Damn it! Its cute!" She threw a fist triumphantly in the air and Sokka leans his elbow on the arm of the chair, resting his chin on his fist.

"Are you done yet?" he asked.

"Nope," Usagi replies, flopping down in her chair, "I got like six more to go, then the next one doesn't come out until September..." She teared up, her eyes going all watery, sniffing, "I don't wanna wait that LONG!" Sokka made a move it along motion for her to stop, which she finally does, pouting, "The Earth Bending Tournament," She smiles, happy again, "Is where you show your true gay colors. Green, and yellow. No straight man worries if his belt matches his bag, and you had four moments with the bag andthere's nothing more I need to say about it because it speaks for itself. And there was his fanboy side for the bolder, that was awesome, and uke of him. Aang got captured and Toph!" Usagi hops up and goes over to Toph, giving her a big hug, "The first time you _spoke_ I fell in love with you!" Toph blinks, then pushes Usagi away from her, making Usagi fall over.

"Oh...k," she says, "Too weird, back off." Usagi grins, going back to her seat.

"I'll comment more on that in episode eight," She said, "but there was episode seven, Zuko Alone. I must say I liked it, but there was no Sokka, so not much to comment on. Though it shows Azula was born an evil bitch and it showed Zuko was a sweetie when he was young."

"Now for the Chase," Usagi says calmly, "I liked it. Loved the interaction, and Toph and Iroh got along! You don't know how happy that made me, I absolutely loved it," She thought a moment, "There was this one comment, Sokka said Zuko was an 'angry freak with a pony tail'. But I got to wonder what he thinks of him now after he sees Zuko with short hair..."

"Angry freak with a pony tail?" Zuko repeated questioningly, looking at Sokka and Sokka laughs nervously.

"I was tired; I say stuff when I'm tired." Sokka said quickly.

"Right..." Zuko said, not quite believing him.

"Anyway," Usagi said, bringing attention back to her, though she was solemn, "That episode, made, me, _cry!_ And I shall forever hate Azula for hurting Iroh!" she bawls, "And damn it Zuko! I was yelling at you to let Katara help but you were in TV land and I wasn't there so I couldn't hit you in the head with the phone because I was talking to HKL! I was fretting until the next episode! Don't do it again!"

"Usagi," Zuko said slowly, and not entertained by the crying, "It was in the script."

"I don't care!" she cries, tears running down her face, "It scared me to death and HKL-chan had to calm me down..." She sticks her thumb in her mouth and sucks on it, rocking back and forth, "I miss my HKL-chan..."

"Fu Fu Cuddly Poops," Aang reminded her and Usagi snapped out of her stupor, smiling.

"Oh yeah," she said fondly, "Another one of Sokka's animal magnetism cases, the little baby moose-lion cub."

"That little meat creature had it in for me." Sokka said defiantly.

"You tried to eat him," Usagi said flatly, "And you got captured again, by a hole in the _ground_!"

"I'm not listening to this." Sokka plugged his ears up with his fingers.

"And while Sokka is in denial I'll comment on Iroh, who what absolutely spectacular. We got to see him young, we got to see his son, and we see that he isn't too stiff to learn about the other elements and people and I loved that little scene right there. Its what makes him so wonderful and cool. It also makes me think that Iroh is the reincarnation of Monk Gyatso and that he's the most patient fire bending teacher to teach Aang. And we all know from the last episode in the first season that Iroh has a strong connection to the spirit word and he wants to keep the world balanced," About then Sokka unplugged his ears, making Usagi smile "And now the episode, the Library, though sadly, not much. There was a little bit of Sokka's animal magnetism because the fox helped him out, that was cute, though after that, there wasn't much to speak of, except for that archeologist, he was totally uke."

"Now, The Desert, that had some crazy and loveable moments," She smiled, "You're hallucinations."

"Don't go there." Sokka warned her.

"Have to this time," she grinned, "You drank drugged cactus juice and there's this one moment HKL-chan and I both picked up on," She clears her throat, "'It's a giant mushroom... Maybe its friendly! Friendly mushroom, mushy giant friend' and it has stuck ever since. And a bunch of other funny moments that I can't list them all."

"And she went there..." Sokka sighed tiredly.

"You know what?" Usagi asked suddenly, "Another thing that clicked, Shin Fu/Master Yu..."

"Don't go there," Toph said sharply, "That's weird and disturbing."

"But I can see it! They would so get lonely on that trail while chasing you and..." Usagi dodged a warning rock that almost nicked her ear, "Backing off, backing off..." She sighs, "And that was the last of the shows I have up til now..."

"Great!" Sokka exclaimed, looking at Zuko, "Now let me go!"

"Not so fast!" Usagi yelled, "I'm not done yet! And I said till the end of the chapter, and its not done yet. I have to announce the capture records and then I have to skedaddle before you kill me," She clears her throat, "Currently, Toph: 1, Aang: 8, Katara: 8, and Sokka: 12 ½.. I'm really going to have to go back and see how many times Appa and Momo get caught, because they happen to get caught a lot I've noticed over this season, but that's next time," Usagi gets up and goes over to the corner, standing on a chair to get a little hidden camera in the corner ceiling of the room, "And I think I got it all so I won't have to sneak off." Sokka's jaw dropped.

"You had a camera..." he gaped and Usagi walked to the door.

"Yup, and I've got a few more things to say," She said as she opened the door, camera and notes in one hand and door knob in the other, grinning, "Shin Fu is going to bang Master Yu and I'm going to go give Chong my song!" She quickly slammed the door shut just before Toph's rocks pelted the door and Zuko let Sokka get up to hunt down that crazy girl.


	3. Secret of the Fire Nation, Hour Special

Usagi is slouched in an arm chair in the main characters' room, obviously in a sour mood, rewinding and fast forwarding through the latest episodes. Her hair is cut _very_ short (Big, BIG change over the long pause) and messy because she's been tugging on it for the past hour. She also nibbling on a straw from her soda. Sokka is sitting on the arm of the chair, eyebrow raised at the TV.

"How many times are you going to watch this?" he asks and Usagi glares at him.

"Damn you." She growls and clicks the rewind button hard. Sokka is bewildered.

"What did I do?" he asks, throwing his arms up.

"You kissed Suki." She mutters, straw falling out of her mouth, the end of it mangled with teeth bites.

Sokka pauses, then smiles and nods, "Yes, yes I did." Usagi smacks Sokka in the head with the TV controller.

"You're suppose to kiss Zuko!" Usagi snaps, angrily fast forwarding through the episode. Sokka rubs his head, glaring at her while she is glaring at the screen, "Made me sick, you know."

"Good." Sokka mutters under his breath, folding his arms.

"I do have to admit though," Usagi says thoughtfully, suddenly snapping out of her bad mood, "Suki didn't look too bad without make-up and the uniform," She raises an eyebrow, looking at Sokka, "But really, chin-touches?"

"What? I workout." Sokka says and Usagi grins, making Sokka frown.

"You're still the most uke..."

Sokka covers her mouth with his hand, "Enough." Usagi pouts and he removes his hand after a minute. Usagi sticks out her tongue out at Sokka, then pauses a minute, sitting up straight.

"Why are you putting up with me if you hate to hear me rant?" She asks and Sokka shrugs uncomfortably.

"Uh... Aang told me to clean Appa's feet and I don't want to?"

"..." Usagi raises an eyebrow, "You are the worse liar I've ever met." Sokka frowns, "You're scared of Jet raping you, aren't you." Sokka whacks her over the head with his fist, "Ow!" Usagi rubs her head with both her hands.

"Will you stop saying that he'd rape me!" Sokka snaps.

"But he would!" Usagi jumps out of her chair before he can hit her again and she puts her hands on her hips, looking at him, "I've said it before and I'll say it again: He, would, rape, your, ass, HARD!" Sokka glares at Usagi and Usagi glares back.

"I hate you." Sokka finally says.

"Love you too." Usagi replies and smiles and shuts off the TV, "You know what, Toph rocked these episodes hard. She was doing all the bending, saving everyone, she even saved you." Sokka sticks out his tongue out at her, "Though the weird part when she thought Suki was you..." she shivers, "Why is it that everyone has a crush on the uke?"

"I'm not an uke!" Sokka snaps again, "Will you just stop? Its getting old."

"Not for me." She says and he sighs, sliding into the chair.

"Yeah, well you suck." Sokka grumbles.

"And you blow, so what's you're point." She receives a prompt and steady glare, but Usagi ignores him. "You know, you're love for Suki is very misplaced."

"Don't you dare relate it with Zuko." Sokka warns.

"For once, I'm not," Usagi says, folding her arms, "You were protecting Suki because you lost Yue, and it was a way to," she uses quote fingers, "'Reassess your masculinity'."

"Don't quote at _me_," Sokka warns, offended by the statement, "I did it because I like her."

"You blow." Usagi huffs and folds her arm, "And although Toph kissing Suki was funny, it was so wrong that she thought it was you. The Mary Sues are going to have a ball with it." She gags.

"You just hate every straight romance out there don't you?" Sokka asks in an annoyed tone.

"_No_," Usagi protests, "I'm ok-doke with Aang/Katara and in the 12th episode, Longshot/Smellerbee." Sokka is confused a moment, staring at her.

"But Smellerbee is..."

"A girl, I found out." Usagi informs him and Sokka's jaw drops, "Yeah, I was pretty surprised myself, but it would be a cute little fluff thing if anything else." Usagi smiles, "And Longshot is awesome, he doesn't even have to say anything to get his point across. I love those quirks in characters." She grins and Sokka is now slumped in the chair.

"You don't have another hidden camera in here and you're not going to do another preposterous summery of the show are you?" he asks.

"Do you have a secret crush on the fire prince and hate the fact that I exploit it at every possible moment?" Usagi counters and Sokka's face turns a bright red. He glares at her and she ignores it as usual. "I don't know," Usagi eventually replies and walks over to her soda that is sitting on the table, picking it up and chugging down some coke-a-cola, "There weren't many gay moments, but I loved it none the less." She smiles happily, taking Sokka's previous seat on the arm of the chair as her own.

"Iroh was spectacular as ever with his hat," she comments, "And the cabbage guy... Oh the poor cabbage guy, his cabbages were smashed again, this time by a platypus-bear. Aang was all emotional and it was a bit odd. And sadly, no one was captured," She sighs, "But at least you're still the damsel in distress, Sokka." He glares and Usagi ignores. Sokka shoves her off the chair with a swift shove and Usagi falls on the floor, "Ow..."

"You are the weirdest, most sick minded individual here." He says flatly and Usagi sits up, rubbing her head.

"Just because you tell me that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything about it," she says and folds her arms, going on with her evaluation, "but anyway, I love to hate Jet and even though he would so rape Zuko's uke," -Sokka glares at her from over the arm of the chair- "those two work really well together, and Zuko is awesome with his swords, hint, hint." She grins, "And Jet's team is really efficient, it worked like clock work. I can't help but feel that there would be..." She gives a vague hand gesture, "Some sort of friendship between them, they're a lot alike;" She counts them off on her fingers, "they both have double sword weapons, they both have the hair, cause if Zuko grows his any longer, it'll be like Jet's, and I'm not totally opposed to that," She's on the third finger, "Both are suborn, refugees, great fighters, they both have that bad boy aura around them," Uses her other hand, " They've both fought Sokka and the gang, both have Katara's hate, and... and..." She thinks a minute, "Damn it, that's only eight..."

"That was seven." Sokka corrects and Usagi's face scrunches up.

"Damn it... I know there's another one... Now what was it..." her face suddenly brightens, "Oh yeah; and they would both top Sokka in a heart beat. Eight." She receives another glare and she scoots away before standing up, "Oh, and when the woman was having the baby, you fainted. Now than was funny," she grins, "And you called the baby squishy! That was cute!"

"You get excited over the most ridiculous things." Sokka accuses, pointing a finger at her.

"Yeah, well I can so see you getting pregnant with Zuko's kid, so what your point?" She asks and Sokka groans.

"Don't start with that story of yours..."

"I happen to love my mpreg story," she pouts "And after watching that episode, I want to write about you when he was pregnant with Heisui..." Sokka threw his arms up in surrender since he knew he couldn't stop her from saying ridiculous and stupid things.

"Just kill me now and end my suffering..." he says and Usagi sighs, putting her hands to the arm of the chair and leaning towards him, giving him a look of obvious annoyance.

"If you don't want to listen about my mpreg love then you could always leave..." She pauses, rethinking something, "Where is everyone anyway?"

"Uh..." Sokka leans away from her and fiddles with his shirt hem, "Well..."

"You're embarrassed about something, now what is it?" She asks, a warning finger pointing at him in an irritated fashion, "And I know you when you lie so tell the truth." Sokka fiddles with his shirt hem but doesn't answer. Usagi is unsatisfied and stands up slowly, "Fine, I'll just finish my summery and then I'll go look for myself." She huffs and Sokka grimaces. "The second part, there was a BIG drill," she says, spreading her arms out, smiling, "And it was going to go through a BIG hole..." Sokka rubs his temples.

"That sounds so wrong..." he mumbles.

"Its suppose to," she replies happily but then she folds her arms, frowning, "Although... Azula was there and I hate her," she huffs, "I'm glad she got her butt whooped by earth bending Aang, which was totally awesome by the way. Azula finally got her ass kicked." Usagi smiles, "And Ty Lee is awesome, she took down a whole army of earth benders with only pressure points... I just wish she wouldn't give Sokka the flirty look, it's a little annoying," She grimaces briefly, "And General Sung was such a pansy, I can't believe he was ranked a general at all. He's not worthy of Iroh's rank..." She perks, going ridged when she remembers, "SPEAKING of which. What really pissed me off, was when Jet gave Iroh a dirty look. I mean, he gave **_Iroh_** a dirty look. How dare he give _Iroh_ a dirty look," She shakes her fist angrily, "Damn him, damn him..."

Sokka sighs and takes a magazine from the table as Usagi continues her hate rant, "Inventions monthly..." He opens it and gets comfortable on the chair while Usagi drifts from her hate rant.

"And Iroh flirting with the ticket lady, now that was cute. A true man with charisma and charm. Although It wasn't nice when Zuko spilled his tea. I mean _really_, How can you spill Iroh's tea? Its like taking a lolly pop from a little kid! Oh! And that drill bit was huge! When the drill exploded and the sludge went all over the wall and everywhere, already having penetrated the wall... I don't think I even have to tell you what was going though my perverted mind..."

"Did you know they have a pan, specifically made for grilled cheese sandwiches?" Sokka broke into the rant and Usagi pauses.

"Where?" She goes and looks over his shoulder and Sokka points out the little article.

"Right there, it's a..." Usagi whacks him over the head.

"You weren't listening to me!" she snaps and Sokka rubs his head, "And what are you doing looking at kitchen ware?" Sokka's face, while still showing pain, turns red.

"It was in the beginning of the magazine!" he protests, "Its just weird that someone would just buy a pan just for a grilled cheese!" Usagi throws her hands in the air.

"Where the hell is everyone?" she asks and stomps to the door. Sokka's eyes widen and he jumps up, running after her, magazine left at the chair.

"Wait!" He blocks her path to the door. Usagi stops and puts her hands on her hips, tilting her head to the side.

"Give me one reason why I should." She demands and Sokka stumbles on his words.

"Um..." he begins but the door is thrown open and Katara is in the door way, looking excited and agitated at the same time.

"Sokka! Zuko and Jet broke into a fight!" she announces in a rush and Sokka tries to wave her to be quiet because Usagi is literally right behind him, "I mean first it was the arguing, then arm wrestling, and now..." She pauses, since Sokka is waving his arms so hard he looks like he's trying to fly. Usagi pops out from behind Sokka and grabs Katara by the shoulders, eyes bulging.

"What do you mean they're fighting!" Usagi demands, "They're not even on set! They usually get along fine!" Katara is speechless fore a brief moment before it pops out.

"Jet started to joke about your accusation that Sokka would get raped and Zuko got pissed off and they started arguing and yelling, and now it's a big fight and Toph is taking bids..." Usagi then zips out the door.

"TOPH! I bid on Zuko! Wait for me!" she yells down the hall way and Katara is very confused for a minute before looking to Sokka, who looks disgruntled.

"You shouldn't have told her." He grumbles and walks past her and Katara follows, frowning.

"Well how was I suppose to know that she was behind you?" she asks.

"Waving my arms and pointing behind me gives you no clue!" Sokka snaps.

"Usually it means there's someone behind _me_," Katara huffs, "Besides, now she's out of your hair." Sokka folds his arms, looking more depressed than angry.

"Yeah, but if she tries to throttle Jet, whether she looses or he gets a kick where it hurts, he's not going to let it go and he's going to seriously hu..." he pauses and glances at Katara, who has an eyebrow raised out of suspicion. He flusters because he didn't mean to say it, "_What?_"

"Usagi might be right about Jet raping you." She concludes and walks ahead of him.

"He would **_NOT_** rape me!" Sokka shouts, shaking a fist because he's tired of hearing that.

"You're starting to make me wonder, Sokka, you seriously are." Katara says and come to the lobby, where a crowd of people and the distinct sound of swords meeting in clangs. And Usagi's screeching is also very distinct. Sokka groans.

"This is going to be a long night..."


	4. City of Walls and Secrets

RRYF4

Zuko hisses as a rubbing alcohol damp cotton ball touched couches a cut on his arm. "I said no rubbing alcohol!" he snaps and Sokka frowns, holding the cotton ball to the wound. Zuko sat cross legged on the floor and Sokka knelt next to him, first aid box open next to them.

"Well its not _my_ fault you decided to fight Jet," Sokka huffs and rubs the cut clean with the cotton ball, despite Zuko's protecting. He drops the cotton ball when its disinfected and breaks out the gauze and bandage wrap, "I mean, if he's talking about me, its really none of your business." He puts the gauze on the cut and starts wrapping it in place.

"Fine," Zuko growls, "Next time Jet calls you an easy bitch, I won't get involved." Sokka's face reddens and he pauses in wrapping, then continues.

"I didn't mean it like that," Sokka says, a little more calmly, "Its weird when you defend me and Usagi doesn't make it any better." He tucks the end of the bandage securely and he's finished with that wound.

"Like I said," Zuko says bitterly, moving his arm around to test it out, "I will not get involved." he winces as he stretches it too far, "Ow..." Sokka gives him a soft thwap over the head.

"Don't bust it open," he ordered, "at least give it a chance to heal."

"Alright, alright," Zuko grumbles, "You're as bad as you're sister..." he thinks for a moment, "Now that I mention it, where did she run off to?"

"She's busy healing Jet," Sokka replies bitterly, "She said..." he stops, "Never mind. Anyway, he came off worse so he needed more medical attention." Zuko raises an eyebrow at him.

"Are you sure she didn't want you to go..." Zuko began.

"Jet's not going to rape me so don't you dare say it!" Sokka snaps angrily, face tinted red by his outburst. Zuko blinks slowly before speaking calmly.

"I was _going_ to ask if she didn't want you to go so _she_ wouldn't have to deal with _me_," he says and Sokka's face turns the shade of a ripe tomato, "I didn't say anything about rape."

"...Never mind," Sokka rubs his head, feeling a headache coming on, "Damn Usagi running around..." he sighs, "Take off your shirt, Jet ripped that to shreds."

"That doesn't sound right." Usagi chirps from the doorway of the room, making Sokka jump.

"Well I didn't ask you!" Sokka snaps, pointing at her, "Out!"

"Why? So you can molest each other while I'm gone, not happening," she says and walks over to a chair, "Besides, Katara kicked me out to heal Jet." She folds her arms and plops down in the seat, pouting. "I just wanted to poke him with a really sharp stick..."

"As... interesting as this conversation is," Sokka says dryly, "couldn't you bother someone else? Iroh maybe? How about Toph, or Chong? You like Chong, go bug _him_." Usagi shakes her head.

"No way," she says stubbornly, "I have yet to see you blush when Zuko has his shirt off." Sokka frowns coldly.

"I'm only doing this because Katara ran off to help Jet!" he yelled in some reasonable defense.

"Only so you wouldn't get raped."

"_You!_" Sokka makes motions with his hands, like he wants to strangle her and Zuko watches idly.

"You know, the more attention you give her, the more she's going to do that, right?" Zuko asks and Sokka frowns at him.

"How can you just ignore that annoying, hyper girl that keeps trying to get us in bed together!?" Usagi waves happily and innocently behind Sokka while he is huffing angrily. Zuko sighs and looks to Usagi.

"Tell me again how creepy that lady was?" Zuko asks and Usagi frowns.

"She was VERY creepy!" She announces loudly, "I mean the first minute I saw her she was creepy! She even had the creepy music! She just, wouldn't, stop, _SMILING_! Oh the humanity!" Zuko looks to Sokka.

"She has a very short attention span, so you occupy her little brain with something else." He says and Sokka sighs.

"Well its better than hearing her screech at me," he admits, "At least now I can tune her out." He winces as he gets pelted in the head with a tissue box, "Easy! Those corners can take out an eye you know!"

"I'm right here, I'm not deaf!" Usagi huffs, "And It was a creepy episode, I mean _really,_ she wouldn't stop smiling! Ba Sing Se is messed up in the head! Sure it might be safe from the Fire Nation, but those people are not right in the head!" she pauses, "Toph was good as she always is, and Iroh is now dubbed the best tea maker in all of Ba Sing Se," she smiles, "That made me happy..." Zuko rolls his eyes.

"That _would_ make you happy." He replies and Usagi frowns.

"This is coming from the guy who says horrible things about tea." She scoffs.

"All it is, is hot leaf juice," Zuko says in an exasperated tone and Usagi pauses, completely changing the subject.

"And exactly _why_ were you defending Sokka's honor when Jet offended him? Hm?" this time Zuko's face lit up in a barely noticeable blush.

"Why should I have to listen to Jet insult people" he counters smoothly.

"You wouldn't defend anyone else like that, and you got into a sword fight," she pulls out a 50 dollar bill from her pocket and she grins, "speaking of which, I won 50 bucks from that fight." She tucks it back away, "Are you sure you didn't fight Jet because you might possibly like Sok- _Whoa!_" she ducks a fire ball. Zuko promptly huffs and pushes himself to his feet.

"I also don't see why I should have to listen to you." He states and walks out the door, slamming it after himself. Sokka pouts for a minute before taking a calming breath and starts cleaning up the medical supplies.

"Great, you pissed him off," Sokka grumbles and closes the lid to the first aid. Usagi nods neutrally.

"You're just upset because he didn't take off his shirt." She states and gets thunked in the head by her own tissue box, "Ow! Those corners hurt!"

"I told you," Sokka huffs and stands up. Usagi hops up and follows him.

"Just admit it," she urges him, "You like him, he likes you..."

"Do you want a tin first aid kit lodged in your head?" Sokka asks and Usagi grimaces, a large drop of animation sweat drops down her face.

"No," she says, deciding to let that go, then grins, "Remember the Corn Guy?" Sokka puts the first aid kit in a cabinet.

"I can't believe you remember that part." Sokka grumbles, shutting the cabinet.

"**_I_** can't believe its not butter." She replies and Sokka stares at her blankly while Usagi just grins.

"I don't want to know," he says, turning and walking in the opposite direction.

"I know," she says, "most don't, but I can't see corn without thinking of it anymore." Sokka sighs and looks to her.

"Go bother someone else." He orders and Usagi ignores him once again, following him out into the hall.

"You know," she mentions idly, "You and Aang were adorable when you were trying to play royalty," she grins broadly, "Prince Aang and _Queen_ Sokka!" Sokka's fist curls and he's really resisting the urge to take a swing at her, he heads upstairs, "And it was cute when Aang played with the bear..." She hits her own fist into her hand, "I almost forgot, you all got captured again! Even though it was only for a second. You got captured by two guys, and Katara and Toph got caught by bending," she counts on her fingers, "Capture count is now Toph: 2, Aang: 8, Katara: 9, and you: 13½." She looks around the hall way, "What floor is this? This isn't the 5th floor, is it? ... Sokka?" Sokka pauses at a very lovely rose colored door with prints of fire and Usagi stops cold, twitching, "Sokka..."

"I told you to leave me alone." He reminds her, smiling, then opens the door without warning, where Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai, all of them still cleaning up from the drill sludge, "Ladies," Sokka announces, gesturing to Usagi with a hand, "The girl that replaced your tooth paste with glue, set that sludge in a bucket prank and wrote 'Azula sux' all over the girls bathroom." Usagi smiles sheepishly and waves, knowing she's in big trouble.

"My, look at the time, I must be going!" Usagi shouts and darts off and its not a second later that three, irritated Fire Nation women are chasing her to kill, especially Azula. Sokka dusts off his hands and sighs, relieved.

"That takes care of her for a little while." He says to himself, quite satisfied.

"Yup, sure seems that way." Sokka freezes, hands in mid dusting. He slowly looks to his left and jumps at seeing Jet there.

"Oh! Jet!" Sokka says in a startled and forced laugh, "Um, fancy meeting you here, on the floor of antiheros..."

"Yeah, imagine that." Jet says sarcastically, head, arm and side bandaged from his fight with Zuko.

"So um... Where's Katara?" Sokka asks, taking a step away from Jet, though Jet matches a step closer to Sokka, looking very intimidating at the moment.

"Went to find you down stairs not 5 minutes ago."

"Oh, then I'd better go find her..." Sokka tries to slip off but Jet grabs his arm and, pulls him back.

"Not so fast, we need to have a little chat." Jet says casually enough, resting his arm on Sokka's shoulder. Sokka pokes his index fingers together nervously, Usagi's constant yelling of him getting raped is not helping him keep cool.

"O-Oh?" Sokka asks, cursing himself for his voice cracking.

"Yeah," Jet says, "About your boyfriend attacking me." Sokka blinks, highly confused.

"Boyfriend?" he asks, a little annoyed at the accusation, "I don't have a boyfriend!"

"Why else would Zuko defend you?" Jet answers, frowning.

"Uh..." Sokka blushes, "He's not... I don't... We aren't..." He points a finger at Jet, "I hope you're not basing that off of what that damn fangirl is saying..."

"Why base it off of a lunatic when you guys make it so easy, hm?" Jet raises an eyebrow and Sokka's blush brightens.

"We're not like that so shut up!" Sokka snaps, but backs down a little as Jet glares at him.

"And another thing about our local lunatic," Jet hisses, "Stop her from trying to sabotage my room or _someone_ is going to get hurt."

"What am I suppose to do about her?" Sokka asks, a little distressed by Jet's anger, "She bothers every one! She even dumped a bucket of water on Azula!" he pauses there and laughs lightly at that memory, "Although, its was pretty good..."

"But she's always following you around," Jet points out, "so you do something about it, got it?"

"But..." Sokka winces as his arm is squeezed.

"_Got it?_" Jet hisses again and Sokka stumbles for an answer.

"Excuse me, you're both blocking the hall."

Sokka jumps as Zuko is standing behind them, looking disapprovingly at the scene. Jet glares at Zuko and steps back some. Sokka unintentionally gives him a pleading 'save me' look and Zuko sighs, ignoring Jet.

"You're sister is looking for you," Zuko declares and rests his hand on Sokka's back, leading him down the hall, away from Jet.

"O-ok." Sokka replied and glances back at Jet, who is now smirking and mouthing, 'boyfriend.' Sokka is relieved when they start descending the stairs.

"No wonder Usagi thinks Jet is going to rape you." Zuko comments and Sokka throws him an annoyed look.

"He cornered me!" Sokka defends himself.

"You were in the middle of the hall," Zuko informed, "I was standing there for a good while."

"And you just stood there?!" Sokka snaps and resists smacking Zuko.

"I was trying to not get involved since I always get yelled at when I do." Zuko comments dryly and Sokka falls quiet, realizing that he had silently pleaded Zuko to help him get away from Jet.

"Oh... um, thanks for that." Sokka says quietly, but Zuko doesn't seem to take it to heart.

"You're just lucky I was passing by to see my dad," Zuko says, frowning, "Though Azula wasn't there to taunt me..."

"Yeah, about that..." Sokka says slowly and is startled when Usagi pops in front of them, looking tried, frantic, though strangely perky.

"Heyguys! Ican'tstoptotalk,beingchasedhere,Igottogo,givethistoKatara-" she shoves a crumpled piece of paper into Sokka's hands, "Youtwoaresocutetogether,loveyou, bye!" She suddenly clicks a camera that she had hidden away in her pocket and zips off. Sokka and Zuko blink, then Sokka remembers that Zuko's hand is still on his back. He doesn't get a chance to really say or do anything about it because Azula rushes by, pausing only for a moment.

"Hello Zu-zu." She taunts and she is off again. Zuko glares after her and Ty Lee is following Azula, copying her pause; winking at Sokka before running off. Mai runs by and smiles at Zuko, but then they're all gone. Sokka sighs.

"This place is nuts." He says and continues walking, Zuko following.

"What did she do this time?" Zuko asks and Sokka shrugs, going back to the main characters' room.

"Everything; I just took her to the room and wa-la, no more Usagi to bug me." He replies and finds Katara sitting in an arm chair, reading. He tosses the crumbled paper onto her lap, getting her attention, "Usagi's." And he flops down in the chair across from her. Katara frowns at him, then the paper, putting her book down to read the paper. Zuko folds his arms and leans against the back of Sokka's armchair.

"What does she have to say?" he asks, only curious because there is nothing else to do for the time being.

"I'm not sure..." Katara says after flattening out the paper, "Her hand writing is scribbled horribly. Let's see..." she clears her throat, "'Katara, please read out loud,' well that is obvious... 'To make it clear to Anuuuuneeemoose about Jet's taunting; Katara, please explain'." Katara sighs, "Not this again. _Yes_, Jet joked about Sokka getting raped, in general. Not necessarily Jet himself raping Sokka, but certainly some invading him. But there was definite mention of Sokka being violated in a dark alley..." By now Sokka has a large throbbing forehead vein.

"Even when she's not here she insinuates..." he mumbles at first, "Enough already!"

"Alright, Alright, almost done," Katara say and continues to read, "'P.S. Azula is a bitch and Sokka needs to get over the fact that he's gay and suck Zuko's-'..." Katara blinks and reads a bit further, then her nose wrinkles and she folds up the paper to hide what Usagi wrote, "I'm not reading that."

Sokka gets up and grabs his club, heading for the door, "I'm going to join the hunt." He announces, planning a few murderous things. Zuko shakes his head.

"Its never going to end."


	5. Tales of Ba Sing Se

Zuko yawns and scratches his head; scavenging around the kitchenette for some food. He opens the pantry cabinet and pauses, hearing a shuffle from the other side of the wall. Curiously, he closes the cabinet and walks out of the kitchenette to where a coat closet is next to the fridge. He stares at it for a good moment before opening it. He stops and blinks.

"Sokka?" he asks and Sokka shushes him loudly before grabbing Zuko's shirt and yanks him in; slamming the door after them.

"Ack! What the hell are you doing!?" Zuko yells.

"Shhhh!" Sokka hushes him in the dark, "Usagi is stalking me." Zuko frowns and sparks up a flame in his hand, lighting up the small closet.

"She's been stalking everyone since she got here," Zuko hisses, obviously ticked off, "what's so different about now?"

"Well... you see..." Sokka stumbles for a minute before mumbling something, but Zuko doesn't catch it.

"What?" he asks and Sokka sighs heavily.

"I did poetry and its one of those"-Quote fingers-"'obvious gay moments' that she thrives on." He folds his arms. "I'm getting tired of talking to her and if she says Jet is going to rape me one more time I'm not holding back on my club." Zuko's eyebrow slowly raises.

"And you pulled me in here because...?" he asks and Sokka's face turns a lovely shade of red.

"Well... If she saw you talking to me in the closet, she would find me." He reasons, eyes shifting to the coats around them.

"And this closet thing isn't making it any better." Zuko points out, "Either she's going to accuse us of doing something or she's going to announce that we came out of the closet." Sokka thinks about that for a moment.

"Oh... I didn't think of that." He mumbles.

"I realize this and I'm leaving." Zuko announces and lets the light go out, hand on the door knob. There is a faint giggle from outside and Sokka grabs Zuko's arm.

"Wait, I heard her!" he hisses in a hushed tone and Zuko frowns

"Oh for the love of..." Zuko begins.

"No, no! If we go out then she's going to say something." Sokka whispers and crosses his fingers in the dark, "She'll go away, we just have to wait it out." Zuko pauses, thinking about the options. Going out there and being pestered by an annoying gay loving girl, or be stuck in the closet with Sokka for a couple minutes. The latter really didn't sound that bad.

"Fine, but remember, this was your idea, not mine." He says and slumps down on the floor to wait. Sokka sighs and sits down with him, though its quite cramped in the closet and sitting down, they're side by side.

"Can you scoot over?" Sokka whispers.

"Can you?" Zuko replies, "I'm already cramped." Sokka grimaces, having a feeling it will not be a comfortable wait.

"Katara! Katara! Katara!" Usagi is hopping up and down in the main character's room excitedly and Katara gives a clearly annoyed huff, walking into the room also.

"_What?_" Katara snaps finally since Usagi had been following her for the past 5 full minutes.

"I saw the mini filler episode!" Usagi announces happily, "I laughed, I bawled my eyes out and I cheered!" Katara gave her a blank stare that could rival Sokka's.

"You know, I could really care less." Katara states and Usagi sighs, her hyperness going down a few notches.

"I know, but I can't find the main lovebirds anywhere," She pouts, "Azula and her little pow-wow gave up yesterday and Sokka caught me once in the arm," she rubs where the wound is, "For an uke, he hits hard."

"So you've said," Katara says, moving into the kitchen, "Many times over." Usagi leans on the counter by the kitchenette, tapping her foot on the ground idly, then she perks up.

"You and Toph were awesome in this most resent episode," she says happily, "You both look surprisingly good in make up, and Toph's mud mask trick was hilarious." She grins, "And the preppy girls got washed down the river! The best part!" Katara smiles a little proudly.

"Well yes, I guess it was." She admits and finds something to snack on.

"Soda please?" Usagi asks sweetly and Katara sighs, tossing Usagi a coke from the fridge. Usagi happily catches it and nuzzles it.

"At least you're somewhat normal without either of them around." Katara comments as she eats a rice cake.

"I suppose I'll take that as a compliment," Usagi says and pops the top with a hiss, "I feel the senses tingling... I just don't know where they are." She takes a sip of her soda, "Speaking of Zuko, Is little date wasn't so bad as I'd been dreading. Jin was nice, I wasn't expecting her to be. And I'm so glad Zuko turned her kiss down." She smiles, "He was thinking of Sokka, I just know it." Katara gives her a blank look, rice cake paused half way to her mouth, "Er, sorry." Usagi says with mild sincerity since she was talking about Katara's brother after all, and she didn't like Zuko. Katara bit down on her rice cake and Usagi sighs, relieved, "Though Zuko and Jin would be cute friends. Zuko needs a friend in Ba Sing Se."

"And Iroh's part made me cry!" Usagi bursts out, tears already starting in her eyes, "Iroh's part always makes me cry in this episode! He's so kind and grandfatherly, why did his son have to die, it's not fair!" She sniffles a bit, "And he was singing so sadly and when the words popped up, 'In honor of Mako' I just started bawling!" She cries, waterfall tears flowing down her cheeks. Katara awkwardly pats her on the head.

"Its ok," Katara assures her and Usagi sniffles.

"Really?" she asks in a squeaky voice.

"Yes, really." Katara assures her and Usagi perks up, smiling.

"Okay!" Usagi exclaims and grins, "Aang's part was cute, I mean, he made the animals happy and the kids got to see them. Momo's scene was cute, yet sad. He was looking for Appa but didn't find him. But the kitties helped! They found one of Appa's paw prints!"

Usagi takes a big gulp of her soda, "But you know my favorite one…"

She doesn't finish because there's some banging from the closet and both Usagi and Katara blink. Not too long after, the door flies open and Zuko and Sokka tumble out, ending up in a very cute position of Sokka's arms around Zuko's neck tightly and Zuko ending up holding him bridle style, sitting on the floor. Sokka's eyes are wide, looking back at the closet.

"That spider was HUGE!!" Sokka exclaims and Zuko frowns.

"You panicked because of a spider!?" Zuko snaps and Sokka blinks, bushing very brightly.

"Well… It was hairy and it was crawling up my leg." He says sheepishly and Katara is snapping her finger in front of Usagi's face, since Usagi has froze and has a blank look on her face, staring at Sokka and Zuko.

"I think you two broke her mind." She says and waves he hand in front of Usagi's face.

"Does it mean she won't bother us any more?" Zuko asks and Sokka sighs.

"No, probably means she's in such a perverted state of mind that she's in her own little world." Sokka relaxes some, forgetting that he's holding onto Zuko. Zuko notices, but says nothing, yet doesn't push Sokka away.

"Speaking of which," Katara begins, "What exactly were you two doing in the closet?"

"Uh…" neither have a really good reason and Usagi comes out of her trance, grinning like a maniac.

"You two came out of the closet!" she shouts happily and Sokka groans, hating those dreaded words, "And you two came out together! That's the best part!" She whips out her phone and snaps a picture of them, making Sokka remember right where he is and Sokka jumps out of his arms, standing up and blushing even darker. Zuko sighs and dusts him self off, standing as well.

"I told you she would." Zuko mumbles.

"Oh, shut up." Sokka hisses back, his face as bright red as ever.

"_So_…" Usagi prompts musically, "Sokka, you do know what my favorite part of the episode was, don't you?" Sokka glares at her, folding his arms, "When you saw the poetry club, you didn't go, 'Oh, such pretty girls' you went" –Mimicking Sokka- "'Ahh, _poetry_'."

"Are you ever going to shut up?" Sokka grumbles but Usagi just grins.

"Sokka, can you do a hiku for me? Please!" Usagi begs, eyes shining as she pleads.

"Why would I do one for _you_?" Sokka asks.

"Cause you love to make me happy?" Usagi asks hopefully and Sokka huffs in an irritated fashion. "_Please_?" Usagi asks, thinking quickly, "If you do I won't bug you for the next episode, _please_!" Sokka blinks at her.

"Really?" he asks, "For a whole episode?" She nods, smiling, "No matter how gay you think I am?" Her smile drops some, but she still nods, "No matter what perverted thought goes though your mind..."

"You're really bending it," Usagi warns, "Even I can't control my perverted-ness."

"But you'll leave me alone? For a whole episode?" Sokka asks.

"Yes."

Sokka thinks about it; Give in and tell Usagi poetry, or refuse her and have her bug him for the next episode, "Fine," he gives in, thinking for another brief moment while Usagi does a victory dance, "'Annoying fan girl, She is a thorn in my side, bugging me all day'" Usagi blinks then grins.

"Yay!" She shoves Sokka up to Zuko, so that they're almost nose to nose, "Now do one for Zuko!"

"Um..." Sokka blushes, looking up at Zuko, and Zuko just raises his eyebrow, "Uh... 'Th-The prince of fire, b-burning with a heart of cold... I wish to warm it...'" Usagi giggles and Sokka blushes harder, "I-I mean, 'he is so handsome' NO! I meant, 'I want to kiss-' Ack!" By this time, Katara is giggling behind her hand, Usagi is on the floor, squealing from the sweetness, and Sokka is beat red, almost a purple from how hard he's blushing. Zuko looks a little concerned because of the interesting color Sokka has turned but before he can even react, Sokka turns on Usagi.

"Shut up! I didn't mean it and you know it!" he shouts and Usagi catches her breath.

"Oh man," she sighs, still chuckling a little, "That-that is so worth the deal, even if it is a totally gay episode with you. Oh, my, god!" Sokka wonders if he should get his club but he gives up, going towards his room.

"I'm going to go curl up and die now," he mutters, "Revive me when this chapter is over." The door slams and Usagi is still giggling on the floor, her limbs twitching. Katara folds her arms, looking down at Usagi.

"So?" she asks slowly, "Are you done yet?" Usagi giggles again.

"I-I dun-know," she wipes a tear from her eye and looks at Zuko, "Zuko, do you have a hiku?"

"I liked Sokka's first one." He replies neutrally. Usagi grins happily.

"Did you like his second hiku?" she asks innocently and Zuko pauses, walking to his own room.

"I'm getting my swords." He says and Usagi pouts to Katara.

"Why must it end in violence?" she asks sadly.

"I think you'd better run now." She suggests and Usagi sighs, getting up.

"Save the yaoi for me?" she asks and Katara frowns, "Just tell me what I miss! That's all I mean!" Her look doesn't change, "I'm going I'm going..." shuts the door after her and she runs to find safety.


	6. Appa's Lost Days

Sokka is relaxing in the main characters' room, glad he had made that deal with Usagi the episode before. He smiles and folds his arms behind his head, sitting in a comfy chair. No Usagi, no one bugging him about anything gay related, just peace and quiet...

The door suddenly bangs open "Usagi!" Aang yells and Sokka yelps and falls out of his chair. Aang pauses and blinks at Sokka, "Sokka?"

"Aang," Sokka says, pointing a warning finger at Aang from the floor, "Knock or enter slowly." Aang smiles nervously and scratches the back of his bald head.

"Sorry," He says, then asks, "Have you seen Usagi?" Sokka gets up from the floor, rubbing his head, and frowns at the girl's mention.

"No, I'm not her baby sitter." He replies and slumps back in his chair.

"Oh, okay," Aang says and slams the door after him, making Sokka cringe. He waits a moment, expecting something to break, but when it passes he relaxes again, though too soon as the door opens quickly again and Suki pops in, in full warrior uniform (dress).

"Sokka?" Suki says, in an unusually agitated tone, "Where's that crazy fangirl?" Sokka blinks since Suki is rarely out right and angry.

"I don't know," he answers and before he can ask what for she shuts the door. Sokka runs a hand down his face, "Why is it always like this with that damn fangirl? What did she do now?" He ponders it only for a moment before the door opens once again, only this time, its Zuko.

"Is..."

"No, Usagi's not here!" Sokka snaps and Zuko raises his eyebrow.

"I was _going_ to ask if my sister is here." Zuko states and Sokka sighs, a light blush of embarrassment covering his face.

"_She's_ not here either." Sokka replies and Zuko shuts the door after him.

"Good." Zuko replies and goes over to sit down in an arm chair.

"What the hell is going on out there?" Sokka asks, agitated by everyone bothering him, "If she's not here annoying me, everyone else is coming to me to find her!"

"Possibly because you are the" -He uses quote fingers- "'Favorite uke' thus far." Sokka glares at him.

"Don't you start using her lingo," he warns, folding his arms, "I've had enough of her."

"Well we're stuck with her like we are with every other person there is," Zuko states then says thoughtfully, "At least her insanity keeps away the Mary Sues." Sokka shivers visibly.

"At least there's that, but only that," Sokka says, "Is it worth it?"

They both pause, then agree wordlessly with simultaneous nods.

"What the hell is she doing anyway?" Sokka asks curiously, wanting to know where Usagi is incase he needs to prepare to hit her again.

"You don't want to know, trust me," Zuko replies, frowning at the thought, "Azula and Suki are both hunting for her right now and I don't want to be by any one of them." Sokka blinks slowly, wondering what Usagi had done to make only Suki and Azula mad at her, and what was Aang looking for her for?

"Did she booby trap Azula and get Suki or something?" Sokka asks and Zuko shakes his head.

"Worst." He states and Sokka's eyebrows furrow. What could be worse?

"Spray painting their rooms?"

"Nope." Zuko says, shaking his head

"Um..." Sokka scratches his head, trying to think of what it could be, "Oh come on, tell me."

"No, I don't want to recreate the scene in my head." Zuko says and Sokka pouts, hating to be the only one that doesn't know what's going on. Zuko sees the pout and raises his eyebrow.

"She's leaving you alone for the day and you want to know what she's doing?" he asks and Sokka shrugs.

"A guy has to know what he's up against, you know." He says and Zuko sighs, rubbing his face, hating to see Sokka pout. He looks at Sokka again, seeing that same pout.

"Oh geese," Zuko grumbles, pushing himself to his feet, "Fine, fine, we can look for her, but so far Azula and Suki hasn't found her, there's not much of a chance that we will." Sokka shrugs and gets up.

"Curiosity is going to kill me if I don't." he says and Zuko gives him an odd look, a smile tugging at his mouth. Sokka sees it, "What?"

"Will satisfaction bring you back?" Zuko finishes the saying and Sokka blushes brightly, turning away from Zuko so he doesn't see it.

"That doesn't sound right, don't say it again." Sokka grumbles and goes to the door, Zuko following.

"You started it," Zuko says slyly, "what made your mind go to the gutter so fast?" Sokka's blush increases.

"I blame the stupid fangirl, shut up."

"So you're thinking something sexual with me?" Zuko asks bluntly and Sokka's face is as red as a tomato.

"I'm not discussing this." Sokka grumbles and Zuko shrugs, letting it go for now.

"Fine." He thinks a minute, dropping that subject, "Where do you think she'd be?" Sokka's blush tones down a bit, but he's still a tint of red.

"Well, where would you be if you were her?" Sokka asks and regrets it when he gets the answer.

"Stalking you?" Sokka glares at him and Zuko quickly defends himself, "If _I_ were _her_. Hell, if you were her, you'd stalk yourself."

"Never mind," Sokka rubs his hot cheek with his hand, "What would she be doing if she wasn't stalking me?"

"Do you want the list or the summery?" Zuko responds, receiving another glare, "Is there anything I'm going to say that isn't going to get you pissed at me?" Sokka shakes it off.

"Sorry," Sokka mutters and takes a moment to think, "She'd probably be hanging around Iroh or Chong, she adores them. Then again she might be booby trapping everyone she hates or running from the people that hate her."

"Lets stick with the less violent first." Zuko suggests and Sokka nods in agreement. Dealing with an angry Suki and Azula was not a very thrilling thought. They head down to the lounge, where Iroh is usually hanging out. Finding no one in the lobby except some minor characters from the show, Sokka sighs.

"He's not here, Neither is that crazy fangirl or..." He pauses, spotting red and yellow, "Aang?" Aang is peeking in a side door, where a large room for storage usually is placed. Sokka walks over to Aang, poking Aang's shoulder, making Aang blink up at him.

"Oh, hey Sokka," Aang greets cheerfully, "I found Usagi, so no need to worry any more."

"Where...?" He peeks in the room and raises an eyebrow, peeking in the cracked door, "Oh..." Usagi is in the room with Appa, where there is plenty of hay and water for the flying bison. "Why is she here?" Sokka asks and feels Zuko leaning over him, looking in also.

"Hiding from Azula and Suki, and going over the episode," Aang informs him, "It was all about Appa after all."

"Then what are Suki and Azula mad about?" Sokka asks, still confused and Aang sighs, stepping away.

"I don't wanna tell it again, I'm going to find Katara," He says, "I just wanted to see where Appa was." And he goes off to find Katara. Sokka crouches by the door to get a better look and Zuko is peeking in above him.

"Wha...?" Sokka begins but Zuko cuts him off.

"Just _listen_," Zuko orders, "I'm not explaining it." Sokka sighs and listens in.

Usagi is lying on Appa's head, feet kicking in the air, happily talking, "-I mean really, I'm not the only one that got the vibe, I bet a lot of other people did too. It was just the tension in the air, almost like Zuko and Sokka's. Its one of the few pairings like that that I _like_. You were there, didn't you see it?" Appa rumbles quietly, not opposed to the company, "Yup, you saw it. I was yelling, 'Suki's gonna get raped!'. I'm glad my mom wasn't home, she doesn't know about all the raping that's going on in this show. But can you just imagine the sadist Azula would be?" Appa gives a short, annoyed grunt, "Eh... You're right, I don't wanna imagine it either. I'm a little disturbed myself, but even I can't stop my perverted mind. Sad really." Appa rumbles again ,"Hm? Oh all right." She reaches down and scratches behind Appa's ear and Appa shuts his eyes happily.

Sokka blinks slowly, eyes wide, glancing at Zuko who isn't too shocked since he heard Aang summarized it all to him earlier. Sokka opens his mouth, stumbling over his own words, pointing at Usagi in the room, "Y-Yuri? Her? Since when does she like girl on girl?"

"I guess since Azula singled out Suki," Zuko answers. Sokka resists banging his head on the wall; this girl was insane!

"I'm actually pretty glad I made that deal with Sokka last time," Usagi goes on, "He wasn't even in this episode. Now I can feel free to tease him again next episode." Appa grumbles, "Oh, I won't be too harsh, I'm still waiting for them to kiss though, you know, willingly." He pauses, re thinking something, "I completely forgot to add up the capture count for the last episode, you know. Sokka's lovely poetry threw me off. He DID get caught by that big but at the end of his segment, so that brings him up to 14 and a ½." She smiles happily and Sokka glares at her from outside, standing straight and stepping away.

"That's it, I'm not listening to her any more," he grumbles, arms folded, "I should have told her to leave me alone for the next episode." Zuko shrugs, following Sokka's lead.

"Too late now." He comments and Sokka unintentionally shutters.

"I can't believe she's pairing up Suki and Azula, that's just... _wrong_! Suki's like a sister to me!" Sokka fumes a bit and Zuko pauses, giving Sokka a questioning look. Sokka glances at him, perplexed by the look, "What?"

"She's like a sister?" Zuko asks skeptically, "She's not like a girlfriend?" Sokka blushes once again.

"I meant _that_!" Sokka exclaims.

"But you didn't say it." Zuko points out and Sokka blushes harder.

"Why do you have to bother me when _she_ isn't?!" Sokka demands, pointing to the door that Usagi was behind. Zuko gives him a shrug.

"A hobby?" Zuko asks back and Sokka huffs, heading back upstairs, Zuko trailing behind him, "Where are you going?"

"To find Suki or Azula." He replies casually, a little too casually. Zuko is a little surprised.

"You wouldn't actually tell them where she is, would you?" he asks and Sokka looks at him smiling slyly at Zuko.

"It serves her right," he says, "For all that she put me through, its time for some pay back." Zuko can't say he's not intrigued by Sokka's more devious side.

"You know... she's going to get you back one of these days." Zuko warns.

"What's she going to do?" Sokka asks skeptically, looking for Suki, "She's already writing all kinds of things about me, spreading rumors that aren't true and around me constantly."

"Well she could..." Zuko began to think of a few things that Usagi would do.

"It was a rhetorical question, don't answer!" Sokka exclaims and Zuko shrugs.

"She's a desperate pervert with no self-esteem," Zuko says idly, "She's capable of a lot. You sure you want to stir something up?"

"Yes." Sokka says confidently and comes to Suki's room, knocking on it. Zuko shakes his head, dreading the worst from an agitated fangirl. Suki answers and is a little surprised to see them, only keeping the door open enough to he her and not inside the room. Her makeup is already off and she looks a bit ruffled and blushing.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" Suki asks, adjusting her skirt.

"Um, well," Sokka starts, not use to see Suki disheveled, "We just saw Usagi downstairs and I heard that you and Azula were hunting her." Suki opens her mouth to reply when Azula throws open the rest of the door, pulling her armor back on, hair down for once, though not looking as ruffled as Suki.

"Where?" Azula demands and Sokka just stares at them both for a minute, something clicking but he points downstairs numbly.

"S-storage room with Appa." He says and Azula runs out of Suki's room. Sokka stares at Suki, who grabs a sash that had come off of her uniform. "Suki... why was Azula..."

"Uh, Expari... er nothing." Suki blushes more and steps past them, "I'll explain later! I have to hunt someone!" And she darts off. Sokka just stares after, an eyebrow twitching. Zuko looks a little ill.

"I hope they weren't doing what I think they were doing," Zuko mumbles, "Not with my _sister_!"

"I, am going to go lie down now," Sokka says, turning to go back to the room.

"I'll be joining you." Zuko says and follows, color rising in Sokka's cheeks again.

"What?" he squeaks and Zuko raises his eyebrow.

"I have my own bed and room you know." Zuko informs him and Sokka blushes more for assuming the wrong thing.

"Oh, right." Sokka scratches his head, unable not to sound somewhat disappointed. Zuko glances at him curiously, smirking.

"Unless you _really_ don't want to sleep alone..." Zuko begins.

"I'm fine! I'm good!" Sokka says hurriedly and Zuko chuckles.

"You are easily flustered." Zuko states and Sokka is happy to get back to the room.

"Oh shut up."


	7. Lake Laogai

Usagi has a stack of papers in her hands, reading them and then tossing them over her shoulder. She's sitting in the room with Appa still, with her head is bandaged and she has obvious cuts and burns, from an angry Suki and Azula, "Everyone has been bugging me for this episode…" she frowns, rubbing her sore arm. "And I got pwned by the lesbians in denial…" she thinks a minute, "I leave Sokka alone for one episode and he sicks them on me…" she drops the papers and hits her fist into her hand, "There got to be something to do for this... I need a plan!"

Appa rumbles behind her and Usagi blinks, "What? I actually _think_! … sometimes…" She turns over one of the papers and starts jotting notes, "I'm gonna need help with this though… Someone subtle in a delicate situation and cunning, a little grace wouldn't help either..."

---

"Toph, _pulease_!" Usagi begs on her knees, her hands together, "Please, please, please!!! Just for this chapter! For this episode! For the **yaoi**!"

"No," Toph says firmly, "I'm not wasting my time to see if Sokka and Zuko are lying to each other."

"Why not?" Usagi whines.

"Because I don't like you." Toph replies, scratching her head, dust falling out of her hair.

"But you **do** like to hear Sokka make a fool of himself or mess up his words all embarrassed like..." she sums up some perks and Usagi waits hopefully before Toph smirks.

"Alright, you have a point." Usagi does a happy dance.

"Okay!" She grins and pulls Toph close, "Here's what we do..."

---

Sokka is lounging in an armchair in the main characters room, almost asleep, but not quite. Zuko is in the chair across from him, polishing his swords. The atmosphere is peaceful for once. Sokka frowns.

"Its quiet; too quite." He says and Zuko sighs.

"Don't complain about it," Zuko advises, "enjoy it while it lasts."

"She's plotting something, I know it," Zuko rolls his eyes and sheaths his swords, "she left me alone last chapter, she's got to be plotting something, I feel it..."

"You're paranoid."

"I am not!" Sokka exclaims, sitting up, "She's been bothering me enough for me to know she's up to something!" Zuko sighs again and stands up, going to put his swords away. Sokka watches him go, seeing the door close. After a moment, his attention is turned to the entrance of the room, seeing Usagi as bouncy as ever. Sokka frowns, "What do you want?"

"Noooooooothing." Usagi sings, running over and puts her hands on the arm of the chair. Toph rolls her eyes, walking over to them.

"Usagi has some questions." Toph announces and Usagi pouts.

"Well you don't have to be so blunt about it." She says and she sits down on the arm of the chair. Sokka blinks, confused.

"Why? And what for?" he asks, growing suspicious as Toph sits on the other arm of the chair, making Sokka crowded and uncomfortable.

"Just because," Usagi replies, grinning, "I have to do this for the Lake Laogai episode. People have been bugging me for it."

"What people?" he asks and looks to Toph, "And why are _you_ helping her?" Usagi ignores him, pulling out a sheet of questions.

"I first have to state a few things," Usagi says, "Sokka can't draw for beans, and Toph, you really didn't have to break the wall down to break the rules." Toph looks annoyed.

"Do you want my help or not?" she asks and Usagi scratches her head smiling sheepishly.

"Yes ma'am," she says and continues, "Sokka, you didn't give one argument when Katara told you to kiss Jet." Sokka's face immediately lights up in a blush.

"You're asking me about _that_?!" he snaps angrily and tries to stand up, "I'm not sitting around to be badgered about that!" Toph catches the back of his shirt and yanks him back down, with an undignified squeak as he hits the cushions.

"You didn't mind the thought of kissing him, did you?" Usagi asks and Sokka looks disbelievingly at both of them. Even for Usagi, this was a bit extreme.

"You're insane!" he yells and Usagi shrugs.

"Did you or didn't you mind the thought?" she asks.

"Of course I mind!" Sokka shouts, "You're a sick individual that thinks I would sleep with any good looking guy on the show! I don't want to kiss Jet!" Usagi blinks a minute while Sokka takes a minute to breath. She looks at Toph.

"He's lying," She says and Sokka's attention snaps to her.

"What?!" he yells and Toph plugs her ear with a finger since Sokka shrieked so loud.

"You lied when you said you minded, though not when you told Usagi off. But it was a blatant lie when you said you didn't want to kiss Jet." Sokka turns on Usagi.

"You made her you're lie detector!?!" Sokka's voice has long sense cracked, but Usagi has ear muffs on.

"And what about Zuko, would you like to kiss him?" She asks, checking things off on the paper.

"No!"

"Lie." Toph replies and Sokka glares at her.

"So have you ever wanted to make out with him?" Usagi continues.

"No!"

"Suck his you know what?"

Blush, "No!"

"Hump his leg?"

"Once!"

Usagi blinks and Sokka rubs his face, his cheeks a nice shade of beat red, "Really?" Sokka reluctantly nods.

"Yes, just stop asking that kind of stuff." Sokka pleads and she looks at Toph. Toph sighs.

"He's not telling the truth, on any account." Usagi blinks and Sokka wants to hit his head against something.

"Even with the humping?" Toph replies with a nod and Usagi looks back to Sokka, "More than once."

"No."

"Lie."

"So more than once?" Usagi grins and Sokka groans.

"Fine, I think about it occasionally," he admits and they both look at Toph. She clears her throat.

"Tweak the question a bit." She advises. Usagi thinks for a minute, rubbing thoughtfully at her chin. Sokka looks disbelievingly at Toph.

"I did tell the truth." He looks offended at being accused of being a liar.

"You're still hiding something." Toph replies and Usagi snaps her fingers.

"You want Zuko to throw you against the wall and start the frottage process?" Sokka's face lights up like a Christmas tree and he mumbles something quietly, "What was that?"

"He said, 'Maybe once or twice' and he's telling the truth," Toph replies and earns Sokka's glare, which is wasted since she can't see. Usagi is giggling happily and Sokka turns his glare on her.

"Are you done yet?" he asks and Usagi shakes her head.

"Of course not. Have you ever wanted to have sex-" Sokka lunges and covers her mouth.

"Finish that sentence and I'll strangle you!" he threatens and after Usagi has calmed down a bit, he lets her go.

"I know the answer to that one anyway," she says and looks at her paper.

"I think you should have let her finish." Zuko cuts in, standing by his door; long been done putting away his swords. Usagi grins and Sokka pales considerably.

"How much of that did you catch?" he asks weakly and Zuko shrugs.

"Enough." He replies.

"I got some questions for you too Zuko!" Usagi announces and Zuko interrupts her from continuing.

"Leave me out of it or I'm setting something very precious of yours on fire." He threatens and Usagi pales, clearing her throat.

"So um..." Usagi wonders if continuing the main interrogation would be wise for her yaoi collection.

"But do continue." Zuko says and walks over, leaving his arms on the back of Sokka's chair. Sokka stares, shocked at him and Usagi just has a growing grin on her face.

"Why is everyone against me?" Sokka asks, sinking into the chair, feeling surrounded and a little helpless.

"Alright, Sokka," Usagi goes on, "Does Zuko look better with the pony tail, or the ragged cut Zuko is sporting now?" Sokka sighs, glad its an easy and not too damaging to the pride.

"Short hair." He replies and Toph nods, signaling that it's the truth.

"And is it true that you and Zuko really find Suki and Azula making out?"

Sokka pauses, mouth open, bewildered since his is completely off topic, "What?"

"Did you or didn't you find the lesbians going at it." Usagi rephrases the question.

"I sure hope we didn't," Sokka mumbles, "We only found them ruffled up, they could have been fighting."

"Drat!" Usagi pouts and sighs, "Well that was all I had for questions," Sokka sighed in relief, "But since you're all here, you can listen to my view on the episode." All three of them groan, "Oh hush! Its not my fault it was a good episode!" She clears her throat, "I just have to say Sokka can't draw for beans."

"Hey!" Sokka says loudly, offended, but she goes on.

"Zuko has some soul searching to do after the episode because Iroh knows what he's talking about... I bet kissing Sokka would help though." She smiles sheepishly as Zuko glares at her, finishing quickly, "Zuko looks good with his hair, even though he's beginning to look like Jet, Sokka, you should have kissed Jet, I'm sad that the blue spirit is gone and Long Shot was so awesome when he spoke. Like a sexy heroic type!" She swoons and falls on the floor with a loud "fumph!" Zuko rests his chin on his fist, still leaning against the chair.

"So that's it?" he asks

"I hope so," Sokka says in an exhausted breath

"I second that notion." Toph replies and Usagi pops up, grinning.

"You know what, Jet deserves a kiss!" Usagi declares.

"Then go get Katara." Sokka grumbles, folding his arms and glaring at Usagi but Usagi gets up, taking his arms and yanking him up with her, "Ah!"

"You're going." Usagi announces and yanks Sokka out the door with her. Zuko blinks and looks at Toph, who just follows Sokka's cursing down stairs. Zuko quickly follows, all of them ending up in the lobby, where Jet is relaxing from the episode, bandaged up from the fight, in a comfy chair. Jet looks up when Usagi pops up, grinning. He frowns.

"What do you want?" Jet asks suspiciously and Usagi just brings Sokka, Who is a bit confused, closer to her.

"I wanted to say, that you're not really such a bad guy as I had thought," Usagi says and shoves Sokka into Jet's lap, making his straddle Jet's waist, making both boys blink at each other. Usagi pops beside them, waving a 20 dollar bill between them, "And I'll give you twenty bucks if you lay a big wet one on Sokka." Sokka sits bolt upright, well, as upright as anyone can be straddling someone's lap.

"What?!" He exclaims, "But you... What about your..."

"Zuko/Sokka passion?" Usagi finishes, "Hell, you and Jet are hotness too." Sokka stares at her, kind of horrified and Jet smirks, snatching the bill from Usagi.

"I wouldn't have needed a bribe, but ok." Jet comments and grabs Sokka's face, yanking him down and crushing their lips together. Usagi squeals and Toph has to cover her ears from the noise. Zuko just stares at the scene as well as anyone else in the lobby; mostly because Usagi squealed and is taking pictures. Sokka struggles for only a minute before he gives up, both breaking for air. Jet smirks and Sokka is covering his mouth, looking a little horrified and shocked and his face is completely red.

"The hotness!" Usagi shouts happily and Jet grins mischievously at Sokka, who gulps.

"You liked that, didn't you." Jet accuses, pulling Sokka's hand from his mouth.

"N-no!" Sokka squeaks.

"Lyyyying." Toph sings and before Sokka can deny it, Jet pulls him down again, this time with a lot less protest. Usagi just watches in a Cloud 7 haze; happy, very happy. Sokka gives up completely and sinks into the kiss and Usagi looses temporary interest, she has pictures after all.

"Toph... Where's Zuko?" She whispers and Toph, thumbs behind her to the stairs.

"Ran off when I said Sokka lied about liking it," She replies and turns to walk that way herself, "and as entertaining as this has been, I think my work here is done."

"Thanks Toph!" Usagi calls cheerfully and turns back to the lovely couple making out, though Sokka pulls back for air, his face still a dark red, highly embarrassed and realizing that everyone is staring at him.

"I-I... I'm just going to go." He says and slips off Jet's lap, wondering a little wobbly towards the stairs, in a daze. Usagi grins to herself, loving the mayhem.

"Thanks Jet!" She cheers and pats Jet on the head before, zipping off.

"Any time," Jet says with a smirk and relaxes in his chair again. Usagi giggles, skipping up the stairs.

"Phase one and two complete," she whispers to herself, "Mission **Unstablize**, and **Jealousy** are checked off my list." And she skips off, "I wonder how long it will take them to jump each other... _and-_" She darts off to find Iroh, "Iroh! I want to be the first customer at you're new tea shop! Name it the Jasmine Dragon! Pleeeeeeeeease!!!"


	8. The Earth King

"Aaaaaaah!" Usagi's bloody murder scream filled the entire building as she ran around in a circle in the main character's room; arms waving wildly and looking panicked "It's the apocalypse! The world is going to end! Mooooommy-- Oomph!" She was knocked out by Katara, who dusted off her hands afterwards.

"I thought it would never end." She said and Zuko looked up from the arm chair, taking an earplug out of his ear, sighing in relief. Usagi lay on the ground, eyes swirling, and she twitched some.

"It stopped." He said gratefully, taking out the other earplug, "What the hell is she yelling about now?" Katara shrugged.

"I don't know, she started screaming at the end of the episode," Katara replied, "It was most likely the last few scenes... or the um... t-e-a-s-e-r for the next episode." She looked down at the fan girl next to her and nudged her with her foot, "I didn't hit her that hard."

"Frankly, I think you should have used Sokka's club to knock her out," Zuko grumbled, agitated, "She deserves a lot more beating than she's been getting." Katara raised an eyebrow.

"What is up with you?" Katara asked, aggravated as well, "You've been crabby all week. More crabby than usual. And where's Sokka? He's been gone and quiet for so long..."

"In his room." Zuko answered, making a flame in his hand to pass the questioning time.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously, hands on her hips.

"Most likely sulking." Zuko replied, passing the flame to the other hand.

"What did you do this time?" Katara accused. Zuko stopped passing the fire around, it sizzling out.

"Why do you think it was me?" he asked, frowning.

"Because its usually you or her" -Katara points to the swirly eyed and unconscious Usagi- "And since I can't ask her at the moment, I'm asking you."

"Well you got a horrible way of asking." Zuko huffed, "And it wasn't me, it was completely the fan girl's fault," He made another flame, glaring at it, "She made him kiss Jet." Katara blinked slowly, disbelievingly.

"No, way." She said slowly.

"It happened," Zuko grumbled angrily, "Half the building saw it, Usagi took pictures and I'm tired of talking and thinking about it so shut up." Katara nodded, intrigued. Zuko glanced at her, irritated. She had an expression on that didn't please him, "What?"

"You're not... you know, jealous, that Sokka kissed Jet, are you?" Katara prodded and Zuko clenched his fists.

"Why would I be jealous?" Zuko asked spitefully, "Its none of my business who he makes out with..." Katara was about to comment, but Usagi's hand grasped the arm of Zuko's chair, pulling herself up.

"Oh, my head," she whined, "Katara, you don't have to hit so hard. My head still hurts from the lesbians in denial..." he stands up, a little wobbily, "Speaking of which..." she punched her fist into the air, full of energy once again, "AZULA RAPED SUKI AND STOLE HER CLOTHES!!!" She began to run around again, "I was RIGHT! It's the Apocalypse! A yaoi fan girl should never be right! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Azula raped Suki and stole her clothes!"

"Do you want to get hit again?!" Katara snapped and Usagi piped down, poking her fingers together.

"No ma'am, I don't like pain." She mumbled and Katara sighed.

"Just don't scream and around anymore." Katara said and Usagi nodded, hopping onto Zuko's chair arm. She grins and Zuko glares at her, more fiercely than normally, "I got a lot to talk about you today."

"Move away from me or I'm going to set you on fire." Zuko warns and Usagi gets the hint, hoping up and hiding behind Katara.

"I just wanted to say that you still got nice muscles," Usagi smiled to Zuko from behind Katara, who looked like she really didn't want to be there, "Well you do, you didn't have a shirt for most of the scenes you were in. Sorry you got sick and no offense, but you got some freaky dreams and Iroh was so caring. Though 'beautiful' prince isn't quite the word I would have used, maybe dashing, or handsome…" she paused, really not wanting more pain. Zuko was already rubbing his temples.

"Just say what you're going to say and move on," Zuko grumbled since Usagi had a tendency to explode information when she REALLY wanted to say it.

"Well… in the Fire Lord Zuko part where you're all pretty-full as a prince with no scar, besides I love your scar I don't want it to go away because it's a part of you character by now and I really don't want to see it go-" she took a deep breath because there had been no commas in her rant, "Sokka should have been beside you as your Fire Lady! Queen Sokka!" she panted afterwards and Katara glanced at her.

"Better?" Katara asked and Usagi smiled, nodding.

"Much." She says and stops hiding from behind Katara, "And was it me, or as the Earth King a total and complete uke?"

"Uke." Katara agrees, eve though she rarely used Usagi's lingo, it was needed, "By your definition, yes, a complete poof."

"He was worried about his fancy door! Fancy door!" and she proceeds to rant quite quickly, "and Aang, Katara and Toph kicked ass getting to that fancy door! Sokka didn't even really fight in this fight! He just apologized and opened doors! And everyone got captured again for a shot time and who was it that told Long Fang to lift his robes, _Sokka!_ And who did a very gay happy dance when Katara let him go in her place to see their dad, **Sokka!** And everyone hugged Sokka because he was so pouty! It was so cute!" she took a deep breath, slowing down, "Though, I don't like the new positive Sokka. He jinxed EVERYTHING! Azula is in Ba Sing Se! Toph went vand got caught _again_." She whispered, "Imagine what Master Yu and Shin Fu have been doing in their time" She winks, then continues out loud again "And he ruined a perfectly good Aang/Katara moment!" Both Katara and Zuko raise an eye brow, "What!? I'm an Aang/Katara shipper by convenience. Katara isn't with Zuko which means he's free for Sokka's taking. Or Zuko taking Sokka which seems to be more the case." She fumes a little, simmering with some anger and sadness. Zuko decided to be mean.

"The teaser?" Zuko asked and Usagi burst into tears, big fountain tears.

"It's not right!" she shouted, "I don't want you two to get closer! It's not right I tell you! A piece of my heart as ripped out!" She whimpered, "I got Zuko/Sokka tattooed to my very SOUL! How can they do that to the yaoi fan girls! I'm going to DIE if you guys kiss and fall in love that easily! It should be Sokka stuck in this 'so called cave' instead of Katara! And I don't want Zuko's scar healed! It's a part of him! It doesn't deserve to die!" she lay on the floor twitching for a bit and Zuko smirks a bit while Katara frowns

"That was mean," Katara states, "You know she's very sensitive about that trailer."

"Do I really look like I care?" Zuko asked, "Her own fault for taking it to seriously." Usagi suddenly popped up.

"And Sokka's not a pimp!" she shouts, "If he was a pimp, he'd be the one selling others for sex. Sokka's more of a…" she pauses, "Oh yeah, man whore. So there!" she sticks her tongue out and Zuko and Katara blink, wondering where that had come from. Though they didn't wait for long because Azula burst in, with an amusing head of hot pink hair, looking as if she has an aura of pissed off fire around her, glaring at Usagi.

"YOU!" she shouted and Usagi paled.

"I didn't do it this time! I swear! It was 'earthenrose'!" she ran away screaming, managing to get past Azula and into the hallway, "Azula's going to rape me and steal my clothes! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" Azula gave chase and Katara blinks while Zuko is busy trying to not bust a gut from holding in laugh, its really hard not to laugh at Azula with hot pink hair. Katara sighs and finds a paper fluttering down. She catches it and sees that it's the capture count.

Capture Count

Toph: 4

Aang: 9

Katara: 10

Sokka: 15 ½

Katara sighed, "Sokka is still the most captured."

"What is the ½ for again?" Zuko asked curiously.

"Before we all got captured before that commercial break," Katara explained, "The vine started wrapping round Sokka and only Sokka, then the commercial came on and that counted."

"Oh yeah." Zuko nods. Katara shrugs and goes to the door, "Where are you going?"

"To find Suki and see if she really was raped." Katara said and Zuko frowns.

"You don't actually believe that crazy girl do you?" Zuko asked and Katara shrugged.

"I don't know," she said, "Usagi made a good point, I'm going to just make sure everyone is ok." She glances at the paper again, "She also wrote, 'send pomegranates'." Katara shrugs and so does Zuko. Katara leaves and Zuko cringes when he still hears Usagi screaming.

"Azula raped Suki and stole her clothes! Aaaaaaaah!"


	9. Season 2 Final, finally!

Sokka opened a door in the hallway, seeing no one in the room. He moved to another further down the hall and opened it, getting the same result. He sighed, scratching his head; this was not good, not good at all. It was just his luck that after he finally got his priorities in order, something had to fall apart again. Trying the last few doors on the hero floor of the building, he still doesn't find who he's looking for. Katara and Aang ran up to him; Aang a little beat up from the season final.

"Any sign of her?" Sokka asked and Katara shook her head.

"No," she replied, "Usagi isn't on the Water Tribe floor or the Earth Kingdom floor."

"Nor is she on the Air Nomad floor, the lobby or Fire Nation floor." Aang put in.

"And no sign of Zuko either." Katara added and Aang nodded in agreement, making Sokka groan in some despair; mostly because they couldn't find Zuko.

"This is ridiculous," he said, "It was the _season final_. They have to be around here _somewhere_." He headed towards the stairs, going up to the antihero hall if necessary.

"Don't you think you should just let her pop up on her own?" Aang asked, "She does it anyway, I'm sure she'll do it soon."

"Yeah, I'm sure she's talking to Iroh or the Guru about their parts in the episode." Katara assured him.

"I got a bad feeling," Sokka said, marching up the stairs, "A _very_ bad feeling. Zuko's gone, Usagi's gone, and what Zuko did at the end of the episode..." Katara raised an eyebrow, catching up to Sokka more.

"You sound more worried about Zuko than Usagi." She commented and Sokka blushed, glaring at her.

"Don't start," Sokka warns seriously, "I'll worry about anyone else before the fangirl and you would too." Katara nods.

"True enough, but," Katara continued, "You have been avoiding yet at the same time, looking for Zuko since you stopped sulking."

"I wasn't sulking!" Sokka snapped, "Usagi traumatized me with that stunt and I needed time to clear my mind!" Katara didn't push it, but she just smiled pleasantly, knowing she was right. Sokka just kept on walking, now in a bad mood, and Aang stayed out of it. They made it up to the next floor and Sokka took a breath. "I'll check this floor; you guys check the next floor up." They nodded and continued up to the next floor, leaving Sokka to that floor.

Sokka began opening doors. Halfway down the hall, he had nothing, then he came to one door, which ended his search. He opened the door and found the lights off, a TV screen was on and a video game was being played. Curious, he flipped on the lights, seeing Usagi sitting on the floor, two feet from the screen, eyes glazed over as she played the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. She looked sleep deprived with deep bags under her eyes.

"Usagi?" he asked, seeing a wolf running around the screen.

"Hn…" Usagi makes only the little noise.

"What are you doing?" He asked, coming up to see what was happening over her shoulder. She hushed him sharply, being in the middle of a boss fight. Sokka was kind of surprised that she hushed him. Katara hushed him, but Usagi never did. He scratched his head, not sure how to take that for a minute. She was the one that had started the whole 'review the show' bit; she should be doing her part. Not playing video games. Eventually annoyance set in and he went over, pushing the power button on the Game Cube and the screen went blank.

"Hey!" Usagi shouted in despair, horrified that he'd cut her off from her sexy Link and Madna, "I was in the middle of that!"

"Aren't you supposed to be doing something else?" Sokka asked and Usagi sniffled pathetically.

"I was fighting the tentacles…" she whined, sitting on the floor, poking her fingers together, "It's a good thing I save before fighting the bosses…"

"Focus!" Sokka exclaimed, smacking Usagi upside the head, "Aren't you going to comment on the season final?"

"Well…" Usagi shifted her feet, "I've wanted to, but I'm not sure what to think…" Sokka raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Alright, so I got a lot to say, but the ending left me numb. Plus I just finished my finals at college not too long before Christmas, I got my new game which I've bee waiting to get for over a year! So I'm drained, I've become an RPing addict and I've been on Cocaine for the past 3 days."

"Cocaine…?" Sokka pondered "… That would explain a lot…"

"The super energy drink, silly." She put in, "and I haven't had any so that's another reason why I'm a bit drained. I've also got a headache that liked to pop up every time I cough and I've got video games to catch up on..." she jutted her finger at the TV where she had been playing her game "Sexy Link for example, and you in a tutu in the Avatar game" she smiled happily and Sokka gave her a whack over the head again, "What?! Let me have my small pleasures! I'm sick and junk! ... I need Cocaine." She proceeded out the door to find her supplier. Sokka raised an eyebrow, but followed her. By the sound of it, it wasn't going to be a good thing.

"So..." Sokka began, the fan girl was not usually so sedated, "Season Final?"

"You really want to know my opinion?" She asked back and Sokka blinked. Since when was she in such a mood?

"No, I just want it done and over with." He replied and followed her up the stairs. Way up. He wished the elevator worked in this building.

"Not until I got my pink drink." Usagi stated, "Which is in my room." Sokka blinked in surprise.

"You have a room?"

"Sharing a room actually." Usagi informed, "I watch all the episodes and notes and stuff like that. No boys, yaoi haters or parents allowed." Sokka gave her a quizzical look.

"Sounds more like a club house." Usagi grinned.

"You could say that." She reached the top floor and ran across the hall, coming to a purple and red door. Sokka raises an eye brow at the door. Not only was it purple and red, but it wasn't done very well because it looked more like there was a paintball fight in the hall. Paint was splattered everywhere, walls around the door, carpet (which was mostly covered by a cliché welcome mat) and ceiling. Along with finger paintings that wrote "Yaoi" at least 30 times and naming a few pairings. He was unsurprised to find him and Zuko as a pairing. Usagi opened the door and slipped in. Sokka attempted to follow but only got the door slammed in his face.

"Hey!" he shouted, offended.

"I said no guys or yaoi haters!" Usagi shouted, her voice muffled through the door. Sokka was even more offended.

"You consider me a hater?" he asked.

"You're in denial, that's just as bad."

"I am NOT in denial!" Sokka shouted and pouted.

"Are too. You're so deep in the closet though, you can't admit to yourself that you liked kissing Jet."

"Because I didn't!" Sokka yelled, face stained red and he folded his arms.

"Denial." Usagi said in a "He's-doing-it-again" tone.

"I'm not!" Sokka shouted and expected Usagi to argue about it in her usual perky manner.

"...I actually should do your review from in here so I'll be safe." Her voice was thoughtful. Sokka didn't like the sound of it.

"What could you possibly have that I haven't heard before?" he asked skeptically.

"Well... I kind of suspected it before after seeing Bato's episode... and my theory is now confirmed in my mind..."

"It can't be that bad..."

"Bato/Hakoda?"

There was a long pause before Sokka started banging on the door, fuming angrily, face red in anger, "YOU PAIRED UP BATO AND MY DAD!? YOU'RE JUST A DEMENTED WEIRDO YOU KNOW! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU DO THAT!? IT'S GOING TO BE BURNED INTO MY MIND NOW!-"

"I knew staying in here was a good idea," Usagi muttered to herself as she listened to Sokka rant on furiously. She only continued when he settled down, and sure he was out of steam and breath for the moment, "As I was saying, yes, Bato and Hakoda, because as Bato pointed out, you are much like your dad. You most definitely get your uke gene from him. But it was a really cute scene when you and your dad reunited, really touching. And you had a tummy ache before seeing your dad! It was kind of sweet. And you know when you got back to Ba Sing Se and went to warn the king about stuff? You are so not involved with Suki and you know it! She's involved with Azula, and you soon will be with Zuko so there! And the 'fighting' Ty Lee. It was true, it was like you were dancing, and the last pose was very gay and I loved it! ... Only if it hadn't been with Ty Lee though. You know I got a Azula/Ty Lee vibe somewhere in there..."

Sokka had given up with trying to get at her now and he sat in front of the door, leaning back against it. He wanted to strangle her very much for her suggestion of his dad and Bato getting together. He folded his arms, looking disgruntled, "How long is it going to take to get your stupid drink?"

"I've got it, I'm just trying to not get killed." She replied, coming out of her rant.

"I'm NOT going to kill you." he assured her, even though he really wanted to. He got a little surprise when the door opened backwards and he toppled back, bonking his head on the floor. "Ow! Give a guy some warning!" He looked up to see Usagi with a small glass of very pink, very sweet smelling liquid. He sat up and Usagi closed the door after her. "I thought that stuff came in a can."

"It does, but it's part of my New Year resolution" She said and Sokka prompted her to continue.

"Which would be...?" He asked and Usagi smiled lifting the glass.

"I shall no longer have a full can of Cocaine," She said, "Last time I exploded and spoke so fast that I had to repeat my self so people would understand me. I had my very own warning shirt!" And with that, she picked up one of Sokka's legs and began to drag him down the hall, getting a thrashing and complaining uke on the floor, "Oh Toph! Zuko! Iroh! I got to talk to you guys!"

"Let go of me! I can walk by my self!" Sokka shouted as he was dragged along the hall carpet.

"Yup, but I don't want you to, you're all pouty and stuff." She took a swig from the liquid in her cup, throwing her head back to make it go down faster and she shuttered, "Oh, that burns..." As Cocaine does burn, so she doesn't chug it.

"And so does this carpet! Let me go!" Sokka complained and Usagi grinned

"If any one asks you can tell them it was because of Zuko." She skipped forward to avoid a kick from his other leg and she let go, already at the stairs and heading up more. Sokka got up quickly and dusted himself, following her up the stairs, which only lead to the roof and she kicked back the rest of the energy drink.

"Why are we coming up here?" Sokka asked and Usagi set down the glass on the railing by the door, which she would most likely forget later.

"HKL said she was up here." He informed and Sokka blinked at two facts. One, Usagi seemed to be talking faster already and two... Who was HKL?

"And how do you know that?" he asked and followed Usagi onto the flat roof of the building.

"Note in the room." Usagi quipped and Sokka had a bad feeling about the effects of the drink on an already naturally hyper fan girl. "HKL-chan! Have you found Zuko yet!"

"Not yet!" was a reply and Sokka blinked, looking around. He looked left, right, in all the corners of the building, but saw no one there. He then looked up, where there was a ledge on top of the door, and jumped when he saw a pair of big binoculars pointed at him.

"HKL!" Usagi cried out happily and tried to jump up to join the other girl, but to her dismay, she was not yet caffeine filled enough to jump up higher and fell on her ass and back. The other girl lowered her binoculars and looked over the edge to see the fallen Usagi.

"You ok, 'Sagi?" she asked.

"'m okay!" Usagi shouted, a fist being thrown into the air. The other girl, presumably HKL, gave her a knowing look.

"Are you on Cocaine again?" she inquired, her long hair falling over her face as she looked down at Usagi.

"Indubitably!" Usagi shouted, which almost didn't sound like a coherent word coming from her. HKL let the binoculars fall around her neck and she climbed down a ladder on the other side of the platform above the door. She leaned over Usagi and patted her cheek.

"Am I going to have to get out the marker?" HKL asked and Usagi sat up pouting with her hand on her head where there was a large bump. As well there was dramatic waterfall tears falling down her face.

"I'm not unconscious yet!" she declared, "Sharpies aren't needed!" HKL offered a hand and Usagi took it, getting up off the hard roof floor, rubbing her sore toosh. Sokka only stared at them from a safe distance away. HKL was shorter than Usagi and her hair was longer and dark red, unlike Usagi who got cocky and chopped all her hair off so that she was almost mistaken for a boy.

"Great, a red head." Sokka grumbled and HKL then was in front of him.

"I'm only a temporary red head because of my birthday." HKL declared and was glomped from behind by an over zealous Usagi, nearly being knocked over.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY HKL!!!" Usagi exclaimed and Sokka stepped away from them, heading towards the stairs.

"Good, you can watch the hyper yaoi fan girl." Sokka said but he was caught in a tackle glomp by said hyper yaoi fan girl.

"Vi Va La Yaoi!" Usagi shouted, throwing a fist into the air, heavily sitting on Sokka's back, "We must travel forth together and I shall talk about the show!" HKL cleared her throat behind them, "WE shall talk about the show!"

"Well you can leave me out of it! Now let me up!" Sokka demanded and HKL leaned over him, inspecting.

"He really is too uke for his own good." She said and Usagi nodded with enthusiasm.

"That's what I've been saying this whole time!" Usagi said happily and Sokka froze. HKL had the same vocabulary as Usagi, which meant.

"You're not..." he started in slight horror and Usagi jumped up, both girls slinging an arm around each other's necks and throwing up victory signs.

"We are spirit sisters!" Usagi shouted triumphantly.

"Here for the good of all yaoi!" HKL ended and Sokka stared a moment longer before proceeding to hit his head on the roof floor. One yaoi fan was bad enough, having another was going to be unbearable. He was suddenly lifted by his shoulders by each girl and led to the stairwell and down.

"To the interviewing!" HKL said.

"To the source!" Usagi grinned and they passed Katara and Aang who were going up the stairs.

"Hey Sokka." Aang waved at him, watching Sokka get dragged off by yaoi fan girls.

"NOT FUNNY!!!" Sokka shouted, "KATARA! A LITTLE HELP!!!" Katara sighed and dragged Aang back down the stairs in toe with Usagi and HKL.

"Can't you help yourself Sokka?" Katara replied.

"There's two of them! They've got me surrounded!" Sokka knew he was being dramatic but he didn't care. If just Usagi traumatized him by getting Jet to kiss him, he didn't know what two were going to do.

"Look on the bright side." Aang chirped.

"What bright side!?" Sokka asked.

"Well..." Aang thought for a minute, "They're not Mary Sues..." Sokka paused, weighing out the threat of a herd of Mary Sues (Because they always traveled in packs) or a couple of yaoi obsessed women.

"You've got a point." He said and he was dragged down to the lobby where they promptly dropped him and Usagi bounced over to Iroh, who was lounging in a chair and enjoying, big surprise, a cup of tea.

"Iroh!" Usagi cheered, hugging the old war general, catching him off guard, "I loooooved the braid your hair was in during the final, and you were so heroic when you rescued Katara and Aang and you're the best that you ever was and you didn't deserve to get captured and disappointed by Zuko!" She hugged him and Sokka dusted himself off from being dumped on the ground.

"Does she even breath when she's caffeinated?" He asked, there were so many run-ons in her lingo today.

"Yup." HKL said and Usagi appeared again by them, prodding Sokka in the shoulder with a finger.

"And remember when you said Iroh 'Lost you at Zuko'? You know you were day dreaming about the prince, yes you were! Don't deny it! Iroh also tried to convince you that Zuko was good and it could so be taken out of context to be Zuko/Sokka if only the setting was more romantic... Though yes, Zuko's a bit of an angry jerk and he shouldn't change because the first episode creeped me out so bad! Zuko was not meant to be that perky!" She glomped Aang unexpectedly, "And Iroh gave you such good advice! He needs to be your Fire bending teacher damn it! And it was cute when you hugged Katara and Iroh hugged Zuko! Priceless!" She dropped him and jumped up, "Where's the Guru!" and she bounded off to find him.

"Aaaaand we're off," HKL said and dragged Sokka after her.

"Why the hell are you dragging me everywhere?" Sokka demanded, "I'm sure she's done humiliating me for the day." HKL shook her head.

"You make it sound like a bad thing." She commented and Sokka glared at her.

"It is!" He shouted and saw his sister and Aang following, "Why are YOU still following?"

"I'm in it for the show." Katara said and Aang nodded in agreement.

"You're all against me!" He accused.

"Because you're in denial." HKL said smoothly and Sokka flushed in annoyance, his voice cracking from getting so frustrated.

"I'm NOT in denial!" He nearly shrieked and HKL and Katara snorted, trying to contain exploding giggles, but failing. Sokka's face turned a brilliant scarlet and he cleared his throat. "Lets just get this over with..." And he followed HKL to find Usagi. All he did was waste his breath with these girls. HKL poked him, grinning.

"Aw, the squishy uke is pouting..."

"I'm NOT pouting!!!" Damn his cracking voice, "Damn it!" Katara patted his arm reassuringly, covering her giggles with her hand over her lips. Sokka pouted, even though he tried not to. They found Usagi with the Guru, who was with Appa, meditating on the bison's head. Usagi was happily clinging to the old man's waist and the Guru looked quite perplexed. HKL grinned.

"The Guru is really awesome," she said, "Almost as much as Iroh, though he hasn't had as much screen time." She took a hold of Usagi's feet, which were dangling from Appa's head and dragged her away. Usagi was dragged off of the Guru and Usagi pouted.

"Aw! Let me snuggle more!" she sniffed and was dragged out the door by her legs.

"I thought you wanted to find Toph before we have to go, not snuggle." HKL reminded her and Usagi perked, getting to her feet, throwing her fist into that air.

"We are off to find the greatest earth bender in the world!" she announced and grabbed HKL's hand, running off.

"Whoa!" HKL yelped and grabbed Sokka by the back of the shirt.

"Don't grab me!" he shouted and grabbed Katara's hand.

"Hey!" She exclaimed and they were all dragged by Usagi. Aang blinked then looked to the Guru.

"I got to go, bye!" he said and followed them.

Toph was lounging in an earth kingdom room in a lawn chair made of rock, taking a break from the episode. She had sun glasses on and had blown out the wall to let the sun in. Haru scratched his head, looking at the scene.

"You know, you could have gone outside to sun bathe." Haru prompted. He liked a little light into the room, but this was over doing it. His whole WALL was GONE.

"Mm..." Toph thought it over briefly, "Nah." Haru sighed and Toph picked up a cool drink that was sitting on a small stone table. There was a knock on the door and Haru blinked.

"Now who could that be?" he asked aloud and went to answer the door.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Toph warned but Haru didn't stop opening the door while he asked.

"Why?"

"HARU!" Usagi latched onto him with a big hug, making the earth bender fall over with a yelp.

"That's why." Toph said with a sigh and got up. Usagi was happily hugging Haru and HKL ran in.

"Toph! The greatest earth bender ever!" HKL shouted and Toph couldn't help but look a little proud.

"Well you got that right." She said and Sokka was looking over Usagi, who was basically squashing Haru.

"What are you hugging Haru for?" he asked and Usagi got up.

"Haru was in the Avatar video game, silly," she said, then gave a little shrug, "They gave him a little show time, and it wasn't a bad thing. I still think it should have been Zuko. Though I don't like how they made him his cruel self in the game-TOPH!!!" and like that she was off topic again and hugged Toph, who did not topple over. Toph sighed, shoving the fangirl off of her,

"You're here for the capture scene, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes." HKL grinned.

"And because you're the greatest earth bender ever." Usagi added and Toph sighed.

"Now you're just trying to butter me up," She said, "You're here for the bickering old ladies."

"In a sense..." Usagi began.

"I don't want to hear about it." Toph interrupted.

"But you put them into such a lovely position." HKL said.

"If only they'd been turned around," Usagi said wistfully, "Xin Fu needed to be seme."

"And they fought like a married couple." HKL reminded her.

"Yes, that too. Gay." Usagi grinned happily.

"So gay." HKL agreed.

"It was cute while you were hanging onto Sokka while on Appa," Usagi went on, "With there being no saddle and no earth, only cute. And Iroh would so adopt you!" She hugged Toph again, "When Iroh popped up at the door it was funny that you waved and Aang and Sokka freaked out!" Toph waited until she was done talking.

"Are you done yet?" she asked and Usagi nodded, nuzzling her shoulder. Then she was promptly shoved off again, "Ok, this was the season final and all and I believe you got mostly everyone here." She tapped her foot, feeling the number of people, "Twinkle Toes, Sugar Queen, gay in denial, two yaoi fans and Haru." Sokka started his normal protesting but was cut off again, "Where's the Emo Prince?"

"We're going to find him right now." HKL said and dragged Usagi out the door by the back of the shirt. Haru was up by now, rubbing his head and before Usagi was pulled out the door, she slipped him a card with a room number on it.

"What's this?" he asked and Usagi winked.

"Jet's room number, go give him some sexual healing..." Haru's face lit up in a blush and Sokka smacked Usagi as she was dragged by.

"Quit pairing people up!" he snapped.

"That one was for my princess Kigen!" Usagi shouted, covering her head as everyone followed, save for Haru who was going to have to get another wall, or use all the rock Toph had dragged up to make one. Or... He looked at the card thoughtfully. He tapped the card in his hand and decided that the wall could wait.

Usagi obtained a cross legged position as she was dragged.

"Ok, if you were an emotionally confused, stubborn, hot headed, banished from your country prince, where would you be?" Usagi asked thoughtfully, the drink was at least starting to wear off her enough to where she actually used her poor neglected brain.

"A shrink." Katara replied.

"A circus." Aang piped up.

"Let me think for a bit." HKL pouted and Usagi got to her feet, dusting off her butt. They switched places and Usagi dragged HKL down the hall while HKL took up a thinking pose. Sokka rubbed his temples. These girls were so weird.

"He's probably stuck with Azula since he was at the end of the final." Sokka said sensibly and Usagi stopped dragging HKL and HKL blinked.

"Off to Azula's!" they shouted and Usagi ran upstairs, HKL scrambling up and after her. Sokka sighed and cursed as he followed everyone after the girls.

Zuko flipped a page in a magazine, sitting in a comfortable chair in Azula's room. Her room was... well, made for a princess. A very scary and evil princess, with weapons decorating the wall and fire curtains everywhere. At least it wasn't pretty and pink.

The door burst open and HKL and Usagi ran in, practically tackling in the chair without warning and both started yelling at him.

"Damn it Zuko! How could you disappoint Iroh like that!?"

"How dare you pick Azula's side!?"

"Iroh couldn't even look at you damn it!"

"Azula lies Zuko, Azula lies. How could you be tricked again?!" they went off like that until the shock of them running in wore off.

"Enough!" Zuko pushed both of them off of him and stood up, "I'm not the one that wrote the damn plot so don't go blaming me!"

"But you choose the wrong side damn it!" Usagi cried out, sniffling.

"I can't believe you did that!" HKL yelled and Zuko rubbed his temples. Damn fan girls.

"I mean you were so close! And you went through so much to get to that point! You didn't have to go back and disappoint Iroh like that!" Usagi pouted.

"Yeah!" HKL yelled and smacks Zuko over the head with a wooden 2 by 4 which she had pulled out of nothingness as some things did tend to do. Usagi blinked and Zuko had an unusual look of calm on his face. HKL gulped and Usagi patted her on the shoulder, they both knew it was the calm before the storm. Zuko glared at her fiercely.

"You..." He pointed at HKL and she ran off before Zuko pulled out the fire. Zuko followed, he did not liked to be hit. Usagi poked her fingers together, figuring Zuko deserved to get hit for doing something so stupid. The others were in the door way want watched as Zuko chased the fan girl around the room.

"ANY who..." Usagi said, "Since we're here in her room and all, I must say... Azula is such an evil, manipulating, conniving bitch! Unfortunately she's a great actor as well... I couldn't believe Azula shot Aang in the back! The dirty rat! She's an evil stinking bitch!" She pauses, seeing Zuko is done chasing HKL, who now had a big bump on her head, "Where is the devil woman?"

"She kidnapped Suki somewhere private." He replies as he sits back in the comfortable chair and Usagi nodded, that made sense.

"The lesbians in denial strike again..." She mutters and said aloud, "And FINALLY, the last and most anticipated moment I have to talk about. Katara and Zuko, stuck in the cave," she took a deep breath, "And I thank what ever god there is that there was NO romance! When they got thrown into the same prison is scared me! It seriously scared me that the makers of the series would do something stupid like that. But it proves something," she pauses for effect, "If Zuko and Katara got together it would destroy the world!!!! That's right! Ha! Hear that Zuko/Katara fans! If Katara had used the water on Zuko's scar, she wouldn't have been able to save Aang which in turn would ruin the world!! And I LIKE Zuko's scar! It's a part of him now and he should not loose it! So ha! Ha! I laugh in your face Zutara fans!" She folded her arms and there was a quiet pause, one bigger than Zuko's quiet before the storm.

"And I'm going to get to safety." Toph said and headed down the hall. Aang and Katara decided to take the advice and follow her.

"Oh what wrath have you befallen on yourself now, Usagi?" HKL asked, still nursing her boo boo.

"I don't know," Usagi thinks about it, "I've tempted the Marry Sues before, the het writers, the Zuko/Katara fans right now..." There was a subtle rumble in the building and Usagi snapped her fingers, "I'm insulting the Zuko/Katara fans, so they must be after my blood."

"You make this sound as if it's a usual thing!" Sokka exclaimed and HKL started towards the door.

"Who ever said being a yaoi fan and insulting people was easy?" HKL asked and began to pull Usagi along, "Come on, lets hide you before they maim you again."

"Ok, I just have one more thing." Usagi said and took Sokka by the arm, dragging him over to Zuko and grinning, "And now you two have this nice room all to yourself, make good use of it!" and before Sokka could start protesting she shoved Sokka into Zuko's lap and hurried out the door, "You know you want it Sokka! Don't be afraid to take it!" and with that both fan girls ran away grinning.

Sokka got flustered and scrambled out of Zuko's lap in a hurry. He fumed, face completely red and smoke his almost coming out of his ears from embarrassment. He couldn't help but vent some of his frustrations, "She is the most perverted, disgusting, annoying, nosy insect that I have ever met! Why can't she mind her own business and leave us alone! I mean doesn't she have a life since she actually has a social status in college now? She should be getting less perverted and more lady like! Why do I have to put up with everything she dishes out?! She's so--"

Zuko rubbed his head, watching and listening to Sokka rant angrily, only half listening to him. He wondered how to tell him that he really didn't care and that he already knew Usagi is a perverted freak. Pondering this, Sokka went on ranting for another few minutes and Zuko got pretty fed up with it, standing up.

"-Can't she get a boyfriend or girlfriend or what ever she is? She goes on and on about everyone else's love life when she has no bases of what its like to- Mmph!" Sokka is silenced by Zuko's lips and for a good moment, he's speechless. Zuko pulled back, satisfied that it shut Sokka up. He smirked and put a curled finger under Sokka's chin, tilting it up so that it shuts his agape mouth.

"I'm going to go see what Lee and Jin are doing, bye." He pats Sokka's cheek and leaves the room. Sokka covered his mouth with a hand, eyes wide, in deep shock and slight horror.

HKL walked back in the door then, Usagi safely hidden from the Zuko/Katara fans, who are hunting her. She is looking out in the hall still, "Hey, Sokka, any clue why Zuko is grinning? It's a little creepy for him, I mean, he doesn't even smile half the time and he's grinning. Did I miss something? Sokka?" She waved a hand in front of his face, though his eyes weren't focusing on her, "Hello? ... Do you need or want a hit over the head?" she taps his cheek with her hand and he snaps out of his little trance.

"I'm... I'm going to... go lie down." He says very slowly and wonders off to his room, shutting the door behind him. HKL is a little lost.

"Damn it, what'd I miss!" she pouts and goes to tell Usagi about it.

Capture Count:

Toph: 5

Aang: 9

Katara: 11

Sokka: 16 ½


	10. Season 3 Begins!

Usagi is napping in the lounge and a small booger bubble is coming out of her nose and moving with her breathing pattern. HKL is in a chair near by listening to Korn on her CD player, nodding her head to the music. Katara blinks at the two of them, Usagi specifically.

"What happened to her?" She asked and HKL looked up, talking off her head set.

"Huh?" she asked and Katara pointed to Usagi.

"What's with her?" she asked again, leaning over the arm of the couch.

"World of Warcraft and college," She said, "Plus writer's block and being secretary of the anime club at school." She put her head set back on

"Don't you think we should wake her up?" Katara asked.

"I wish you luck on that venture" HKL said, turning her music back up and bobbing her head to the heavy metal. Katara sighed, seeing HKL was not going to help. Usagi just snored like a saw cutting wood, the bubble continuing to shrink and grow. Katara's nose wrinkled at the mucus bubble and decided to get help, namely Toph help.

5 minutes later; Toph scratched her hair, some grains of sand falling to the floor, "So let me get this straight," Toph said and looked in Katara's general direction, "You called me because why?"

"Because Aang's still sulking," Katara explained, both girls standing in front of Usagi on the couch, "Zuko's stuck on the Fire Nation floor because May is keeping him there and Sokka is still traumatized from the last chapter. He's convinced himself that it's all Usagi's influence and that she paid Zuko to kiss him." She put her hands on her hips, looking everywhere but the booger bubble; it was disturbing her, "Azula's busy being evil and Suki's with her, the Guru is meditating, Jet and Haru are somewhere and I don't want to know what they're doing. Also Iroh is locked up, so we can't rely on him." Toph frowned at that but said nothing about it.

"Alright, so what do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Help me wake her up." Katara said and Toph sighed.

"We've become too reliant on a yaoi fan's opinion." She stated.

"I know." Katara replied.

"Well, first I suggest we break Iroh out, kick Mr. Matching-Belt out of his drama and then deal with her." And she started to stomp off to find Iroh. Katara rolled her eyes.

"You just want to help Iroh." Katara accused and Toph spun around, pointing an accusing finger back at Katara.

"No one locks up my BFF Iroh (1) and gets away with it!" she yelled and Katara shook her head.

"Its in the plot, you can't mess with the plot." Toph pouted and shuffled her feet.

"The plot's stupid." She scoffed and for the first time acted like a spoiled 12 year old.

"Well it's not your choice; now help me wake her up."

Toph sighed and walked back over to the sleeping fan girl. Over the next half hour they would try many remedies to wake an exhausted anime fan. They dumped cold water on her. They yelled in her ear. They tickled her nose with a feather and she hit herself in the face with whip cream. They poked her with a stick, rock, and icicle. They brought Chong to sing a song. They threatened her with their elements. Toph even got Appa to lick the whip cream off of her, but it didn't help. The bubble coming from her nose miraculously survived it all.

Katara growled in frustration, "What the hell?!"

"Maybe she's dead?" Toph suggested, crouching next to the couch.

"If she was dead that stupid bubble wouldn't be pulsing?!" Katara yelled, hating that booger bubble more and more with each attempt. It continuously mocked her by moving and being in existence.

"Bubble?" Toph asked, "What bubble?"

"The snot bubble coming from her nose!" Katara yelled. Toph blinked.

"Really?" she asked and Katara sighed, she kept forgetting Toph was blind.

"Yes, really." Katara confirmed.

"Oh, then just pop the bubble." She said and made a stone needle in her hand. Katara's nose wrinkled and her eyebrow twitched.

"Ew…" she said and Toph just blinked.

"What? I can't even see it." Katara went to take the needle, but then she took Toph's hand and directed her hand to pop it. She didn't want to have anything to do with the nasty booger bubble. The bubble popped silently and Usagi blinked her eyes open sleepily.

"Mm… what?" she mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Katara shivered from the bubble popping and whipped her hands on her clothes from the thought of it.

"We need the review for the last episode." Toph said and Usagi shrugged.

"Well, Aang's alive, he's gone emo. Zuko's still dealing with crap and he's back in the fire nation." Usagi summed it up. "It felt like the shortest episode ever." Katara blinked.

"Is that it?" she asked and Usagi rolled onto her feet, stretching her arms out.

"No, but it was the basics." She said through a yawn.

"It really was a quick episode." HKL agreed, taking off her headphones.

"Yeah…" Usagi thought for a minute and decided to begin, "Well Sokka looks so good with his hair grown out, and now he DOES have a pony tail and not a warrior's wolf tail. Though I can't say any one action in this episode made him uke." She sighed, "disappointing really, but he looked good in Fire Nation armor, despite his being so against Fire Benders."

"Of course he probably picks his own clothes, and you know he has to look 'fabulous'" HKL added, giving his last statement a frilly gay edge. Usagi giggled and Katara sighed.

"He is picky." She agreed and Toph shrugged, clothes where clothes to her.

Usagi then frowned, "but that talk on the ship with May and Zuko made me want to break the TV. They go on the same ship and they're suddenly making out?! What the hell?! No build up?! No reason?! They just suck face after Zuko's been banished for 3 years?! It makes no sense?!" she pulled at her short burgundy hair, "Even in hetero romance it makes no sense?! Why doesn't it make any sense, HKL?!" She threw herself into the cushions of the couch and proceed to overdramatically sob.

"It was ridiculous." HKL agreed, reaching over and patted Usagi's head, "I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon."

"He better!" she popped up and huffed, "I can't stand things like that, yaoi or het." She paused, "Even though the yaoi is nicer, I like relationship build up." She paused, "Aang has hair now… it is bit odd, and the first time I saw it I said 'What the fuck decided to hibernate on his head?!' But they at least gave us a reason as to why he kept it by the end of the episode, so I'm not giving him a hard time about it."

"I still don't like his hair." HKL said as she pulled out a copy of Shonen Jump, "Is this the new one?"

"Yes, yes it is." Usagi replied.

"Shweet." HKL grinned, "It's also cool that they didn't leave out the Earth King and Bosco."

"Yeah," Usagi smiled, "Cute as hell. I'm also pleased that they took a Fire Nation ship, Sokka had good plans." She sighed, "He's smart but stupid at the same time."

"Like Zuko." HKL said while flipping through the book, "He's really smart, but he's emotionally an idiot."

"Precisely." Usagi said with a nod and smiled, "Remember when Sokka said it couldn't get any worse and the serpent came? Another side effect of his animal magnetism, and it also showed his bad luck. But then the universe decided to cut him a break and the serpent attacked the other Fire Nation ship."

"'Thank you the universe!'" HKL mimicked Sokka.

"It was so cute." Usagi stood up on the couch and bounced on the cushions, "I'm glad that they found the ship in the first place, it's actually a really good cover."

"Plus Sokka got his choice of Fire Nation clothes; I'm sure." HKL commented, "It was nice to see the Duke and Pipsqueak again also." She glanced over her book to see Usagi pouting on the couch.

"They remind me of Jet…" she pouted sadly and HKL sighed, shutting Shonen Jump.

"Well what I enjoyed about the episode was Katara and her dad's interaction. We already had Sokka and Hakoda, and now the Katara and Hakoda tied it up nicely."

"Only because Aang went emo and turned into Zuko for an episode." Usagi got off the couch again and HKL's eyes turned happy and she got all sparkly, like Lt. Armstrong in Full Metal Alchemist.

"Then there was all the wonderful symbolism," She went on wistfully "Aang's staff getting covered by the Fire Nation flag, a foreordaining message from the spirits, the glider burning in the Fire Nation…" Usagi picked at the build up of wax in her ear with her pinky finger, watching HKL's pink sparkles.

"Yeah…" she said, whipping her hand on her cargo pants, "they did focus on the flag covering the staff quite overzealously, and what was with the deal with Yue? She died over a season ago, I'm tired of seeing her face. All Aang really needed there was Roku there." She folded his arms and pouted. HKL shook her head.

"Still anti-Yue?" HKL asked.

"Of course!" she exclaimed, "Sokka should not be obsessing over these girls! Yue died and Suki is probably broken and raped in a ditch somewhere. What the hell man?! What the HELL?!" HKL shrugged and Katara and Toph were now comfy on the couch Usagi had napped on.

"Usagi," HKL said calmly, "Ozai." Usagi calmed from her spastic ranting and giggled, blushing ever so slightly.

"Zuko's daddy is pretty…" she admitted, "But Sokka's dad is already taken…" Katara's eyebrow twitched.

"Usagi…" she said warningly and Usagi got the hint.

"Right, no dad sex…" she sighed sadly, "Well, Sadly Ba Sing Se was torn down and it pulled at my heart, not fair at all. It makes me sad that Azuka is so pretty when she's not wearing make up. I wish she was uglier, damn it." Usagi fumed for a bit, "Azula's still a lying bitch. I think she only gave Zuko the credit so if he becomes Fire Lord, she'd kill him and then be Fire Lord. Of course that's my theory on her thinking. I wouldn't put it past her. "

"Yup," HKL said, "though there was only really one part that was odd."

"Aang's feet didn't burn in the lava in the Fire Nation, hello!" Usagi bounced, "He just ran over fresh lava with no shoes on! I expected him to go 'Owowowowowowowowowowowowow, my footies!'" She ran around the lobby, acting like she was on hot coals. "But he didn't, and that just blew the serious moment for me." She jumped then and landed on Toph and Katara, mostly on Katara as she hugged Toph, "and you were cool as always and the awesome metal bending and the coolness." Toph sighed and shoved Usagi off of her.

"Get a grip fangirl." Toph said.

"But-but how can I?" Usagi pouted, sitting on the ground since she'd been shoved off and Katara brushed herself off the Usagi dust that had been put on her from the jumping, "Iroh wasn't even in this episode, so I don't get to hug him." She pouted and poked her fingers together, "I miss him." Toph also saddened and Katara sighed.

"It's not in the plot, you can't mess with the plot." She said.

"But I want to! Everything seems so messed up right now!" Usagi wailed, "Not fair! And the episode was so short! I wanted more! Nobody got captured and I want the next episode noooow!" by not she was whining like a little child and lying on the floor. HKL sighed and hopped onto her feet.

"I'm sure everything will be back to normal next episode, and next chapter." HKL said and Usagi sat up, picking her nose sadly, the allergies were really getting to her lately; it kept drooling on her.

"Ok…" she said and got up.

"Now." HKL said and put her CD in her pocket, "Let's get coffee." Usagi perked up.

"Oh boy! Caffeine." she said and they headed off to the kitchen Katara blinked.

"That was somewhat civilized." Katara said and Toph nodded.

"But I bet it won't be next chapter." Toph said.

"Um…" Katara concentrated for a moment, "I can't help but think something should happen, or that there has been something unsaid…"

"_**USAGI YOUKAI!!!**_"

Usagi and HKL popped back in, seeing Sokka running down the stairs and the girls on the couch turned around to see. He was angry and there was a bright purple think in his hands, and he was wearing the Fire Nation uniform; he would normally switch right back into his Water Tribe clothes as soon as he was off the plot. He marched right up to the two fangirls, face red and angry, whaving the purple shirt around.

"What the hell did you do to my clothes, I can't wear these!" Sokka yelled, the purple clothes were his Water Tribe clothes, the blue of it was blotchy purple and the normal white was red.

"Oh yeah…" Usagi said, scratching her cheek and sweat dropping; Sokka was quite scary when it came to his wardrobe, "I just thought you could used more color in your clothes… so I tried to dye them red… but they sort of bled…" Sokka gripped the purple shirt like he was going to rip it in half.

"This was my favorite shirt!" he growled dangerously, "These are MY clothes, you dyed all of them?!"

"You do look good in red." HKL tried to help, looking just as sheepish as Usagi. Sokka wrung the shirt out in his hand, a few threats audibly breaking.

"I'm about to skin a certain rabbit and cat." He hissed and Usagi and HKL looked at one another.

"He's mad." Usagi stated.

"Pissed." HKL agreed.

"Clothes Crazy?"

"Fashion frazzled."

"Ah yes, that one sounds better"

"Indeed, run?"

"Oh, most definitely"

And with that they took off, leaving a small cloud of dust behind them and Sokka soon followed with his club.

Katara blinked after them, "Well… that seemed more regular." Toph nodded, smiling.

"Yes, yes it does." And they both sat back to watch the chase. "What a great kick off for the third season."

* * *

Capture Count- still… 

Toph: 5

Aang: 9

Katara: 11

Sokka: 16 ½

(1) I loved this comic too much to not include it http://sora-ko. deviantart. com/ art /Avatar -RAMPAGE- OF- DOOM- 65410302 LOVE IT LIKE I DO!!! Toph would so do it! (remove spaces)

(2) Lawl isn't lol. Me and HKL use lawl to describe something so cute that it falls over limp from something like a scratching of the ear to being petted in a good spot (The equivalent to someone rubbing your shoulders, head, or feet after a long hard day, it just feels relieving good)

* * *

And now for the mini episode of avatar. 

Usagi hops in on the Earth Kingdom, nose wiggling like a rabbit. She also has two long lilac springy rabbit ears in place of human easy and a same colored. Her hair is still insanely short, but purple. She grins widely.

"Hey guys, remember the mini episode after the main one?" Usagi asked to the screen, "Well, who am I to leave out these little blessings from the creators of Avatar?" she waves her little paws in the air and her legs are really rabbit feet, "Look! I'm in super-deformed form! Also known as chibi form. I shall therefore be chibi Usagi."

"'Sagi!" HKL cried, running onto screen. She has longer red hair and darker red cat ears. She has a long red fluffy cat tail. Her ears are tipped black and so was her tail, which was also stripped. She has red cat paws and legs. She tackle-glomped Usagi and they rolled over on the ground; both a mass of giggling.

Chibi-Sokka sighs off to the side, sitting on a rock, muttering, "Even here I can't escape them…"

Usagi and HKL were soon up again and Usagi stood at full height, bouncing up and down on her tip toes, both were exactly the same height.

"What the hell, you're as tall as me," Usagi pouted, used to being taller than most of the people. HKL smiled superiorly.

"Ha, now you can't make fun of me for being short." She said happily.

"Yeah…" Usagi smiles slowly, "Worth it though." She ran off and HKL followed right behind her, both enjoying the chibi forms.

"_Sokka!_" they cried together and before Sokka could move, they tackled him in fan girl glomps.

"Ah! Get them off of me!" Sokka yelled and squirmed, clawing his fingers into the ground to get out from under them. They giggled and got up.

"Good thing we caught you." HKL said, grinning happily.

"Cause now I have to do the Mini Avatar episode, Bending Battle!" Usagi squealed, "With more hyper-ness and cuteness!" Usagi patted Sokka's head, "Sadly you still have your season 1 outfit, I'm hoping that they evolve that soon." Sokka swats at her and, threatens her with his boomerang claw-hand thingy. HKL just pinched his cheeks.

"So cute…" she cooed and his cheek snapped back and he rubbed it, simmering to an irritated mood.

"Poor thing was everyone's test dummy." Usagi said and Sokka got up, dusting himself off. Usagi grabbed him in the middle of dusting and she dragged him off by the back of the shirt, "Now to find Chibi-Zuko!" HKL followed, her tail wagging.

"Katara's cute statement was quite appropriate; you guys are adorable as chibis!" HKL said happily, "Though the hearts in her eyes were unneeded."

"Even Iroh told Zuko that he was a cutie-pie." Usagi grinned. Sokka just frowned as he was dragged along. They stopped when they reached a small hill and Usagi plopped Sokka down on it. She then turned to her partner in crime, "Now we need Zuko."

"I'm on it!" HKL saluted and pranced of to find Zuko. Usagi smiled.

"I love chibi episodes," she said, "Toph's mountain making was really cool, she would have gotten a score of 10 from me; it could be seen from space!. Aang's flying was ok, but it just made a big arrow." She poked the grumpy Sokka in the forehead with her index finger, "Zuko cooked your fish and he didn't use you as a test dummy for his element, you should be happy about that."

"Found him!" HKL called, dragging Zuko by a foot and Iroh right behind them. Usagi clapped rapidly as HKL dropped a fuming Zuko next to Sokka and HKL ran over to Iroh to get attention paid to her; Iroh did scratch kitty-HKL behind the ear, which made her lawl(2) and fall over. Usagi glomped Zuko.

"I loved your dragon Zuko!" she squealed, "I'm sad that Katara shrunk it, but now you can keep it in your room as a paperweight or something… can I have it?"

"Get off me." He said calmly, but angrily. Usagi hopped up and smiled.

"You two are so cute, and so it chibi-Iroh!" she then hopped over to Iroh to be cuddled like the bunny she was.

"Hehehe, you're still in season one form too" HKL said as she lay behind Zuko, batting at Zuko's pony tail. Zuko's good eyebrow twitched. Sokka patted his shoulder.

"I know how you feel." He said and then HKL and Usagi popped up in front of both of them, starting to chant.

"_Chibi-kiss, chibi-kiss, chibi-kiss!_" they both hopped up and down, both looking like the hyper active fangirls that they were on the inside. Sokka and Zuko blinked at each other, about to protest, but then HKL took Zuko's head and Usagi took Sokka's, pushing their faces together. They both cheered and took pictures, then they ran away to Iroh to run into the sunset.

Both Sokka and Zuko blinked at each other, both blushing slightly.

"Um…" Sokka poked his fingers together.

"Yeah…" Zuko trailed off, "Food?" Sokka perked up.

"Food!" she agreed and both got up to escape before the girls came back

Usagi and HKL grin at the screen, speaking together, "_Now I hope that you can see that each fandom has its own strengths and weaknesses… BUT YAOI IS THE BEST!_" and they both run off waving 'We Voted for Fire' on flags behind them


	11. Headband, DANCE PARTY!

Sokka stared at the party room door, tilting his head slightly to the side. The door was actually moving from muffled music that he could already hear quite clearly. He frowned, knowing that his ears would be blown off if he so much as touched the door. Yes, he could have gone off and done something else, oh yes, the option was there, it was even tempting to go and sit in the peace and quiet, some time to himself. But everyone, and that means EVERYONE was in that party room so the building was completely vacant and eerie. He paced a couple of times in front of it, trying to convince himself that it wasn't worth his curiosity to get aggravated…

One peek wouldn't hurt, Sokka turned to the door and his finger tips just barely touched the door handle when it flew open and hit him in the face.

Jet and Haru came out, too interested in each other than the party or who ever they hit to get out, mouths locked in an almost obsessive manner and they don't get far down the hall before Jet pins Haru against the wall with his body

Usagi popped her head out the door and whistles at them, "You know you could do that in the corner in here!" They both pause, Haru blushing and Jet just smirking

Sokka stood up abruptly then (note, there's a big red mark on his head), pointing to the two down the hall, "Go get a room, damn it!" he snaps and Haru chuckles a bit, taking Jet's hand and heading to the stairs to go to their room. Jet waves, winking at Usagi; oh yes, he was going to get laid. Usagi just smiled and looked to Sokka

"Getting lonely, closet boy?" Usagi asked and Sokka glared at her, folding his arms

"No, I just came to tell you to turn down the music… and that your music sucks." Sokka stated, looking away from her. Usagi shrugged and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside, into the blaring music and shutting the door after them

"Well it's my party so I'm playing what ever the f—k I want!" she shouted, the music drowning out her cursing at the right time. Sokka plugged up his ears, the music was way too loud

"_My Chemical Romance_ should not be allowed to be played this loud!" Sokka shouted, following Usagi through the crowed of people. Even all the children from Aang's school was there and dancing away to the music.

"But I love them!" She shouted, arriving back with HKL and a bunch of readers that were now by their favorite characters, either dancing with them or just oggiling near by at the tables. HKL was playing with cords near the stage to get a microphone working, kneeling on the floor, "Ready yet?!" Usagi shouted and HKL looked up.

"Almost!" she yelled back and plugs two wires together; the speakers make a loud "thump!" HKL grinned, "They're ready!"

"Great!" Usagi shouted and hopped up on to the stage, tapping the cordless microphone and the music was lowered to a muffle in the background. Everyone then had their attention on Usagi who smiled and waved, "Hi guys, I hope everyone's enjoying themselves, with the music, the dancing and the food." The crowed yelled and whistled their appreciation; especially the fans, and Usagi bowed, "thank you, thank you, but really it was Aang that started it all, the dancing was fantabulous." The people clapped and Aang just smiled, rubbing the back of his head and blushing in modesty.

"We both enjoyed the dancing," HKL hopped up next to Usagi, another mic in hand, "Though I must say that the Phoenix Flight looks as if it had come from Russia."

"Well it had to come from somewhere," Usagi said.

"I know, just some back ground insight." HKL said, "Also, I believe that the Fire Nation represents the communist counties, they sure do treat their people like it."

"Well it does show, especially in the children. Their whole culture has been suppressed for generations. Aang remembers the Fire Nation fondly with a lot of bright colors and dancing and fun, but since the war, the life seems to be sucked out of them. Once the war stops, they won't know how to act or how their culture was 100 years ago. Sad really." Usagi said, for once, serious about the matter.

"Well the dancing in the episode was one of the best parts," HKL said, breaking the solemn statement, "I liked the Camillipant Strike."

"I loved the ball room dancing!" Usagi popped into happy ness, "And I have to say, that Aang and Katara's dance was the most inspiring. Even being a yaoi fan, it really strengthened the pairing for me. Such passion, such love! They read each others moves as if they had rehearsed for years! It was awing and beautiful. Kudos to Aang and Katara!" Usagi clapped to them and everyone else clapped too, both Aang and Katara blushing from the attention, "And thank you all you fire Nation kids for defending our budy Aang, that was a happy moment!" the kids cheered and Free-Style-Kid did a happy dance, "It really shows that he opened your eyes to the possible freedom and you went against authority, way to go!" everyone cheered louder and Toph yells out.

"Yes! More breaking of the rules!"

"Yes, now lets have a little Fire Nation dancing, with the ball room style. Start us off Aang!" And with a queue from the band in the corner and Aang started the dancing, in which everyone soon joined; even the two main fan girls. The Free-Style-Kid was having his free style; he reminded everyone of Foam-at-the-Mouth-Guy. Usagi and HKL were dancing facing one another and giggling. Katara was of course dancing with Aang. Usagi had even broken Iroh out of his cell ("screw the plot!" Usagi yells and runs away with Iroh) and he's dancing with Toph, who is happy that her best buddy is out and about.

Sokka frowned and stood in the corner, wondering when the party would be over. He felt a tap on the shoulder and looked behind him, blushing when he found it was Zuko. Zuko held out a hand and motioned to the dancing with his other hand, being quite chaming.

"Dance?" Zuko asked and after a moment, Sokka took it.

"This doesn't mean anything." Sokka stated.

"It never does." Zuko shrugged and lead Sokka into the crowed. Sokka felt a pang of something at Zuko's last words, but ignored it and they stared to ballroom dance, Fire Nation style.

HKL ginned to Usagi, "Look who decided to join." Usagi smiled back.

"We'll get them later, let them have some quality time," Usagi said, "Lets get some other things out of the way, like Aang in school."

"The fire Nation, where even the meat eats meat!" HKL happily quote's Sokka

"It was neat that Aang used his own friend's name to cover his identity." Usagi said and everyone spun around in place.

"… Why is Aang saying 'hot men' to everyone?" HKL asked

"I don't know, but it made me eye twitched," Usagi said, "maybe it was the cool thing to say 100 years ago."

"It sounded weird." HKL agreed.

"I did get a flash of dejavu at the end of the first day of class; for those of you who've read my story Fire Child, did the after school scene seem familiar? It felt a lot like the interaction in the after school part. They're taking my ideas man! Onji was like Kaijin, the jerk was like Okibi and Aang was like Heisui."

"It was really weird," HKL agreed and smiled, "Hide and explode sounded fun."

"Yes it did, and Aang made a picture of Ozai out of noodles!"

"Sokka's reaction to Aang going to school was great! He's such the parent of the group. Hehe," HKL smiled, "Sokka likes secret rivers."

"Though poor Aang went through a culture shock with the Fire Nation School. Poor kids are so deprived and almost enslaved to go into the army after education.

"Yeah, but hey, caves, and Sokka's mission impossible bit when the cloud landed was funny."

"Yeah, and more animal magnetism when the bird landed on his head," Usagi grins and quotes him, "_'We're in enemy territory, those are enemy birds'!_"

"Well the Fire Nation birds seem to like him just the same." HKL comments and the music stops and a different, slower song started to play, in which everyone had to touch while dancing

"Yes, now lets go see the love birds!" Usagi announces and both fan girls run off to find Zuko and Sokka. Usagi grinned, finding them dancing so cutely together to the slower music. Sokka was leaning against Zuko's chest with his eyes closed and Zuko had his arms around Sokka, "Aw, I almost hate to ruin the moment…" Sokka perked when he heard her and pulled away from Zuko.

"It's not what it looks like!" he protested and HKL grinned as well, looking a bit like the chesser cat.

"Sure its not, but its now time to tell you how gay you were this episode. Usagi," HKL looked to Usagi and she smile back.

"You were the pickiest when it came to clothes." Usagi announced, "You just wouldn't settle for anything, or even taking whole bunch, you had to pick the perfect outfit and nothing more." HKL took up a thinking pose, gaining back the gay frill in her voice.

"This is too red, this is too burgundy, this will make me look fat… wait! This one is slimming and not red," she then pouts "there's no decent fuchsia…" Sokka's face goes completely red.

"That does not go through my mind!" he yelled.

"Isn't it weird that Katara always has to ask how she looks?" Usagi asked HKL, ignoring Sokka and his usual denial.

"Yeah, I know, it's a bit repetitive, but I loved it when Katara acted pregnant." HKL smiled and giggled, "the hair buns where a nice touch."

"Sokka didn't look half bad in a beard either." Usagi commented, "and its kind of funny. For someone that hates the Fire Nation so much, he blends into the society so well."

"You should know the enemy." Sokka grumbled his excuse, glaring at both of them.

"You got a shoe in the face." Usagi said, pointing at him.

"You sent Aang to his room, twice." HKL also jabbed a finger at him and both smiled, speaking together.

"_It was so cute!_" they squealed and Sokka smacks his forehead with his hand. They were both worse than Chong combined. Then without warning, they turned on Zuko, who was just being amused at how they picked on Sokka at the time.

"Oh, my god, I can't believe you and May," Usagi glared, "You two made me sick, and your 'lovey dovey' talk made me retch. "

"You didn't have to shove it in our faces like that." HKL huffed, arms crossed.

"What kind of line is, 'you're beautiful when you hate the world?!'" Usagi's eye twitched, pointing her finger at Zuko accusingly, "and dude, you have a lot of psychological problems."

"Yeah, messed up in the head." HKL agreed tapping her own head for emphasis.

"You going to see Iroh is very heart wrenching. I want Iroh to talk but Iroh's trying to teach you another lesson I can feel it. It _really_ tugged when you brought his food and Iroh cried after you left. You have no patience at all. When Iroh turned his back to you, it hurt **me**!"

"It's like Zuko's really yelling at himself instead of his uncle. He wants his uncle's advice so bad but I think he wants his approval, to know he's doing the right thing." HKL said, enjoying to dig into characters' psyches, talking more to Usagi than paying attention to Zuko.

"Zuko may be back home, but he still urns for change, he's just impatient."

"I almost cried from those scenes, damn it!" HKL burst out, scrubbing at her eyes, "And the guy you hired was fu—ing creepy!" the music had drown out her swear word. Sokka and Zuko looked at each other, really thinking that they should escape now.

"Well at least May gave Azula an evil look for interrupting, I applaud her for that." Usagi commented.

"Appa has 6 fancy feet." HKL smiled, glancing at Appa, who was now able to dance on the dance floor.

"Even the Fire Nation guards got into the music! They miss the old ways! The creativity will not be beaten out of the Fire Nation!" Usagi cheered, loving when the guards had gone with the music.

"Hehe, that poor kid that saw the earth bending, he made a funny face." HKL giggled

"And Sokka hasn't been captured for a while; no one has. It makes me sad." Usagi said and pouted. HKL patted her back.

"I'm sure Sokka will get caught soon, don't worry." She assured her friend.

"Good," Usagi said and turned back to talk to Zuko and Sokka, but they had disappeared. Usagi pouted, "Oh poo, they left before we finished."

"Well, we'll get them next time." HKL said and looked back to the dancing, "Hey, let's go put on some Korn and have a mosh pit." Usagi sighed.

"You know Toph will just pwn everyone." She said as a matter-of-factly.

"So…?" HKL asked and Usagi thought a moment.

"Good point." She said and they both ran off to round up a mosh pit.

---

SIDE THOUGHT MINI!!!

HKL is sitting in a huge brown leather armchair with a clip board in hand. She is wearing suit like clothes, her hair is in a bun, and wearing small reading glasses. She pushes the reading glasses back onto her nose and jots something down on the clip board. Zuko is lying on a couch, looking confused.

"So," HKL says in a slightly German accent, playing psychologist, "It seems zat you have a serious complex with your vater und your uncle is more of a vater to you than your own vater. Your schwester ist trying to kill you, und du are dating an emo lady that you really don't like but you're doing it to confirm to your society and make your vater proud, ja?"

Zuko blinks and looks at her, "Now this is just stupid."

"Ich bin ein Berliner!" (1) HKL shouts and runs off.

---

Capture Count- still…

Toph: 5

Aang: 9

Katara: 11

Sokka: 16 ½

(1) "Ich bin ein Berliner," I am a jelly donut, and yeah, its rough German because I take German classes

DANCING!!

http://rufftoon. deviantart. com/ art /Sweet –Moves -46848139 ,Toph and Iroh Dancing

http://sockaichan. deviantart. com/ art /Loosen -Up -Rufftoon-s- contest- 51767971 ,Aang group dancing

http://purple-twilek .deviantart. com /art /Get- Down- Uncle- 59795996 ,Zuko and Iroh

http://lauramw .deviantart .com/ art /DANCE- PARTAY -66297617 ,Katara and Aang

http://tobuishi. deviantart. com/ art /Rufftoon-s- iAvatar -49870863 ,Everybody mon!

---

Chibi episode: Swamp Skiing

Chibi-Usagi stood in front of the screen, wearing a white cowboy hat and she grinned, having a slightly southern accent, "Howdy, y'all!" HKL also pops up as well, also wearing a cowboy hat, though hers is black.

"Tarnations, we got a culture shock chibi episode for you!" She said and tilts her hat up with one finger. Sokka is pouting, standing off to the side with only a towel around his waist, soaked from skiing all day.

"Can't you two leave me alone for one day?"

"No, way!" Usagi waves her arms about, "You got all germ-o-phobic and expect us NOT to comment?!"

"What?! I like clean water, I hate getting dirty!" Sokka protested, "It is very normal to want cleanliness and clean water to drink."

"Yeah, but most men don't orgasm over it." HKL said and got a pumpkin thrown at her. It was the remaining peace of his water filtration device.

"I don't do that!" Sokka yelled, having to pull his towel back up. Usagi giggled, poking him in the chest region.

"It was so cute when you were being forced into the skis." She said.

"And Aang went through the whole episode with a hill-billy accent" HKL said, smiling happily, patting Sokka on the head, "Poor you, you're always picked on." Sokka pouted. Usagi giggled.

"Not to mention that his underwear was ripped off three times and we got to see his bright red cheeks."

"And we aren't talking about the one's on his face." HKL laughed

"And every one went skiing! Even Appa! Appa was so cool!" and Usagi ran off to hug the miniaturized flying bison. Sokka stood and dusted himself off. HKL looked at him.

"Too bad Zuko wasn't there to kiss your cheeks." She teased some and Sokka blushed.

"He's not going to kiss my butt." She said and HKL waged a finger at him.

"I never said the ones on the butt, I meant the ones on your face. Where's your mind today?" HKL ducked a ski that hit and stuck in the tree behind her. Her kitty ears perked at the ski and she blinked.

"Now that was a little uncalled for, don't you think?" she asked and saw Usagi dancing with Appa. She smiled, "Dance with me too! You got enough legs for 3 people!" and she ran off to dance by the banjos and guitar, and Sokka smacked the vine that tried to give him a hug.

"No tentacles, damn it!" he yells and stomps off to find Zuko, who is usually more sane than any one else.


	12. Painted Lady, Scraped together chapter

Usagi pops up in front of the camera with bright, neon orange hair, smiling. The camera was set up in the fan girls' room, which was full of red and purple items. "Halloween is coming soon! I'm going to be Ichigo from Bleach"

"And I'm dark Chasseur Cat" HKL says, making a pawing motion towards the camera, "Reow!"

"And I will be going to Shikiricon this Saturday in Newtown, PA, so if you're there look for me! I'll probably be Jiraiya from Naruto or a tall girl with really bright orange hair" HKL pouts.

"I will be in my home town; but I'll be cool!" She said confidently.

"And now the review." Usagi said, "I know I have to catch up to the more exciting episodes, so we're quickly going to point out things. This episode was a save the environment episode, and Sokka is the schedule whore and they showed his girly legs!"

"The clothes Sokka picked looked like a dress." HKL nodded.

"Appa was a horny hill."

"Doc, Sho, and Bushi where like Iroh on crack!" HKL cheered, "they're old and they're awesome! Talk about multiple personalities."

"Katara's maternal instincts were in full gear in this episode." Usagi sighed.

"Hehe, remember last episode's mini avatar show? Sokka's clean water OCD"

"Aw… Sokka's big furry friend wasn't feeling well. Geeze Sokka, being chained to the schedule much? Hehe, he had little heart bubbles coming from him. "

"Two headed fish!" HKL exclaimed and Usagi cringed, "That just got worse and worse. They made Sokka's eye twitch."

"At first I thought the painted lady was Zuko's mom, but then it kind of hit me when she got all defensive about the village." Usagi commented, "Oh, and actually, I want that cloak that Katara had It was awesome."

"Aang ran into a pole!"

"Katara and Aang are such delinquents. Sokka and Toph were the parents when they came back. Sokka was the mommy figure!"

"And now some quotes." HKL said happily.

"'_I was Joking! I also said to use spirit magic and made funny noises!'_" Usagi giggled after the serious quote.

"'_Maybe we can clean the river!'_" HKL imitates Toph and Usagi giggles more.

"'_He does have a heart!'_" Usagi quotes Aang.

"'_You're not being an Aang, man!'_" HKL quotes Usagi after she saw Toph pwn Aang for crying. Usagi pauses, blinking.

"Oh hush! It was late and I was tired from work!" Usagi pouted. After a moment, "Sokka played the flute"

"Yeah, that was pretty gay." HKL agreed, "It was cute how Sokka stepped in and put some logic into their heads; good job Sokka."

"The real painted lady coming to see Katara was awesome and everything, but she should have at least gotten a gift for the three days they spent there. Oh well." Usagi sighed.

"Not every spirit gives a gift, Usagi." HKL said.

"If they did then people would start paying attention to them." Usagi said logically.

"Right…" HKL sighed. "Any who, what costumes should people wear?" Usagi grinned evilly.

"Sokka would be something pretty." She said, "Like… a geisha"

"And Zuko'd be the samurai." HKL said happily.

There was a quiet moment and then there was banging on the door and Sokka could be heard banking on the door outside, "Why the fuck am I suddenly in a red kimono?! Red is not my color!" HKL and Usagi giggled and huddled deeper into their comfy room.

* * *

(Suggested background music, Meow Mix jingle (Easily found on youtube)) 

Usagi holds up a small can of cat food and the Meow Mix jingle is playing in the back ground (The 'meows' replaced with the word 'emo', being repeated over and over again), and a red cat starts pawing at her jeans. The red cat is kitty-HKL and she meows as a female narrator speaks.

"_Can 'o' Emo, Zuko brand_. Your psychology fanatic friends will love to delve into the depths of this character, making his every action make sense." Usagi opens the can and plops the freshly unraveled emo into a kitten dish and HKL starts lapping it up, "Now with apathy, depression, and peer pressure." Kitty-HKL meows happily on the screen.

The scene changed to a lilac bunny, bunny-Usagi, and regular HKL is pouring bunny food into the bunny dish, "Now in stores, _Purina Gay-Chow, Sokka brand_. Your yaoi fan will love this sweat treat, even if it is a little in the closet. Containing OCD tendencies bits, high alert in fashion awareness chunks and girly outbursts about shopping nuggets" Bunny-Usagi chews happily and the narrator says quickly, "Warning, denial is not a river in Egypt."

-

OK, you must all go on youtube and watch the work of 'GanXingba'. This person has made a bunch of Avatar things that are hilarious! You must all watch Avatar TV and Avatar: The Abridged Series. Whether you love or hate the characters or even the show, you've got to see it!

And you didn't hear it from me _**-Sneaks away-**_

* * *

Chibi Usagi, now with bright orange hair, but everything else is purple, is sitting at a table coloring pictures with crayons. She sighs, "I was a little bit disenchanted with this chibi episode because it was already on youtube and I'd seen it already. Kind of disappointed that they didn't show something new, like the last two adorable episodes. I know for a fact, this episode was made to bring all the shipping pairing into light. 

"Almost ALL of the characters where there, which made me happy. Azula's still an evil bitch, even in chibi-form. Oh god, the shipping of Suki/Sokka/Yue never stops! Yue's DEAD and Suki's raped and in a ditch because of Azula. I'm so glad they didn't bring Toph and Ty Lee in on this one or I'd really have to hurt someone. If ANYONE girl had to be with Sokka, it'd have to be Toph, because she's so awesome, but really, Sokka's too gay to be her lover. He might give her kids, but he'd still be with Zuko.

"The track running was competitive, but apparently Aang is Haru's uke, Haru is Jet's uke and Jet is finally Zuko's bitch, And I have to say I agree with the order... oh, and Sokka's at the very _bottom_ of the uke list… hehehe, I made a funny.

"Even the library owl was there! Hehehe, Bumi!!!" Usagi wants to cuddle with Bumi and she wants his purple robes. HKL sneaks from under the desk, her kitty ears pressed to her head and being all cute.

"Iroh is the guidance counselor! I have problems, be my shrink, pleeeeeease! He drew tea, and was going to give wise advice! Poor thing didn't get to finish!" Runs to cuddle up to Iroh because she loves him so! Usagi blinks.

"Um… moving on, Haru seems to be the everyday Romeo. As soon as Katara dumped him, he moved on to Ty Lee. I can't believe Katara said he was too sensitive." Rolls her eyes "She wants a 'manly man'. Zuko and Jet huddled for comfort; that was cute. But Haru was still going after her until the end!

"This episode just proved that Katara was a ho. ... At least Jet and Haru were there to comfort Zuko... oddly, it makes me happy, but come on! The Blue Spirit! What the hell?! That ending was shit, man!"

HKL flew by on a cloud, like superman, "Really stupid ending."

Usagi blinked, looked at her papers and threw them into the air, "I need more sleep." And she walked off


End file.
